KICKING POTS.

2010-09-28T12:16:00.001+05:30

http://purple-pondering-people.blogspot.com/

2010-08-15T10:18:00.006+05:30

What does Independence mean to us? A national holiday? An excuse to wear 'Indian' clothes and see our National Flag being hoisted, as songs of patriotism echo through the air? For a moment, I admit, I think most of us feel an over whelming sense of pride as we sing our National Anthem in unison, louder than anything else. I agree, for a moment we feel at peace with ourselves and with the ones around us. We feel a sudden surge of belonging, we feel sorry for ignoring The Mother for so long, for not ever thinking of her and certainly never thanking her, and we are happy all that the patriotic Bollywood songs we have heard have brought us back to her.

We feel liberated, almost as if a gust of wind has come under our invisible wings and made us fly with the National Flag in the air, above the rest. There is a glow to everything and we see bright light at the far end of the tunnel.

But this is just a day, not even the entire day. The feeling does not remain, we do not let it remain. As we come down to earth, back to our all engulfing virtual lives, to harvest crops and feed our pets, all that remains of this day is a status update.

2010-08-14T10:56:00.002+05:30

You used to be so beautiful. The stars would seem brighter and the days would seem sunnier when you were around. It seemed to me as though all the sorrows of my life would be in tandem with cosmic energy when you were with me. You made me feel special.

I however, have forgotten what you look like. Memories of your face walk in and out at will, from my mind as I try desperately to keep the image of you concrete. The distance between our physical beings, has quantified into an unbridgeable gap between our souls. When I close my eyes and think of you, I see the colour black, vivid and deep, but that is all.

You are now a faded yellow paper, words of which I can no longer read. You are now a mere shadow, without a face. I have forgotten you completely. All that is left now, is a vague recollection of the fact that years ago, to my awe-struck mind, you used to be so beautiful.

2009-05-22T20:03:00.002+05:30

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale life slowly.

Exhale life slowly.

Inhale life slowly and make it reach your brain.

Exhale life slowly and make sure it still stays in your brain.

I turn from the left to the right. But what I see doesn't change. A whirlpool of colours, so pretty in mosaic. So much for sight.

People speak in different tones and they say different words but everything merges into my favorite song in my head. So much for hearing stuff.

Hot seems cold and cold cannot be felt at all. So much for sense.

I smile and tears come out from my eyes. With stone cold blank eyes I see into the very depth of other people's souls through their eyes.

I'm standing alone in the pelting rain. No wait, I'm standing amidst a huge crowd in the pelting rain.

Life makes a lot of sense to me, yet I cannot figure out life one bit.

I'm falling into deep sleep, first clock wise and then anti clock wise. All I can see is blinding light instead of the cool solace of dark slumber.

I wake up and the world is normal again. Maybe the world was always normal, but finally I find myself normal again. In my bed, the light of the sun sits with me with a cup of morning tea and a little chit-chat.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Life is in my veins.

2009-01-08T22:33:00.002+05:30

It's chilly and the cigarette in my hand gives out blueish smoke. When I look at the smoke billowing upward in sleepy spirals, my head suddenly begins to swim. For a second the crooked old tree in front of me that I had been staring at dissolves into a shape I cannot decipher. Vibrant colours mix with the faded yellow of the tree and suddenly I see a painting of Piccasso in front of me. Incredible what an empty mind an an empty stomach can do to you. Hallucinations they call them. For a second nothing makes sense.

I wake up again. The tree is back. So is the old lady. She is lying flat on the footpath with flies almost everywhere on her being. Gentle movements of her tummy confirm that she is infact alive. The few shreds of cloth that cover her looked like someone had puked on them. It's funny, at that precise moment I thought of Clara. She's the bitch that lives next door. A spaniel who gets clothes from puma. A dog. And she has an AC room all to herself.

It doesn't make sense to me anymore. Nothing really does. Should I laugh? Or should I just pretend to laugh? Why bother. Why smile. Why talk to everyone and think of things to talk about, when at the end of the day you have to be alone in an empty room with nothing but your troubles looming up in front of you larger than life?

He told me to look this way. And then that way. He clicked on and on and I sat, somewhat uncomfortably in a saree in front of him. My first photoshoot. He wants me to smile. I pretend and flash a pair of uneven teeth. Good picture, he is telling me.

Smile for the whole world to see. Atleast pretend to smile. You are my best friend now, and tomorrow I'm too busy to call you. I love you now, but tomorrow my friends are more important. Smile again. The old tree and the old woman on a dirty footpath. And Clara is richer than many of us human beings. He asks me to smile again. I do. afterall, humans have perfected that fake smile. Nice, he tells me. people can kill each other with bombs and guns but a diamond ring will make a woman smile.

The cigarette is over too and the smoke is long gone. Shit.

2008-04-24T22:54:00.003+05:30

You asked me to take a walk with you the other day. And so when you tenderly touched my hand and decided to lead the way, I allowed myself to follow you. It was to be a surprise, you said and as you drew your cold, long fingers over my pulsating eyelids, I smiled. A plethora of stars burst out in front of me, when I closed my eyes and I made an unsuccessful attempt to count them as you led me on.
Hands off and with eyes that opened up with a jerk, I at first could not take in the surprise. We were in your mind. I looked around as we walked through the turns of your twisted mind. Voodoo dolls with innumerable pins stuck into them, hung from the walls. Melted wax, dead roses, locks of yellow hair and broken pencils everywhere. It was so bizarre and so dark that I began to feel uneasy. I had told you that I loved you. I had told you that I loved you for your craziness and that I could make patterns out of your insanity. But your mind made me want to run away. It scared me. The touch of your hand made me want to run fast and never look back at you ever again. You were too insane and too dark for me. I told you I loved you. I lied.
You looked at me and smiled. I looked at you and smiled back. I looked deep into your eyes and told you, without blinking even once that I loved you. Yet again, in a bizarre and crazy moment of fear, I lied to you.
I don’t really know if we were in your mind or mine. Because my mind is dark and twisted. It has got voodoo dolls on its chipped, blackened walls. And all of the voodoo dolls look like you. All of them, have got pins bored into them. Pins, knives and even forks.
I look at you again, hold your hand and tell you that I want to take you for a walk. As you look at me, innocently, purely even, I smile and tell you that it was going to be a big surprise…

2008-04-03T01:19:00.002+05:30

Sinking
Breathlessness
Bubbles
Dark Blue
Breathlessness
Black
Panic
Cold
Breathlessness
Water
Power
Claustrophobic
Rising
Feeling
Seeing
Thinking
Breathlessness
Rising
Higher
Resurfacing
Power
Air
Life
Magic
Timelessness

2008-01-23T21:43:00.000+05:30

I do not know when, or where, or why, or how...but they became friends. He saw her and she didn't see him, but they became friends. In the begining of it all, they needed to look for things to talk about. Later on however they had too many things to talk about and very little time to say it all. It was all a contradiction. But they became friends.
They hung out for coffee and chatted incessantly over the phone about things that did not really make sense to the rest of the world. Sometimes, they would get drenched in the rain just for the fun of it. It was all great. The best part was that they made each other smile.
Then something happened. One day, when the three of them-him, her and Mr. Time-were walking silently on an endless road, Mr. Time decided to have some fun with them. And so he twisted himself. Mr. Time twisted himself horribly and the two friends changed.
She told him to go away. She told him to go away just to see if he would call her back. He was too sad when she asked him to go away and so he didn't call her back. It was all a contradiction again, as everything with them generally was, but this time they could not get out of it.
I do not know when, or where, or why, or how...but they are struggling to become friends again. When I see them now, they walk apart. They have stopped telling each other things and they have stopped looking for reasons. Worst of all, it doesn't rain these days.

2007-12-09T00:37:00.000+05:30

Images.

I was inside a dark tunnel. It had a very low ceiling and dark, condescending walls. The narrow passage hardly left me any walking space. I was trapped. Behind me, the passage whisked off its visibility after a while into a cloud of thick darkness. Ahead of me, the dim light that lit the tunnel didn’t help after a while either, and I couldn’t see anything after a few feet. I stood there, rooted to the spot looking ahead.
Claustrophobia decided to bite into my neck that precise moment. I fell down on my knees quivering. I was trapped inside thick stone. All around me was stone. There was no air, no space and worst of all, no other voice apart from mine. I was trapped within this tunnel of mine. It had finally decided to devour me. It had decided to eat me up alive.
And I lay there on a cold stone floor trembling. The darkness was coming closer to me from the front and the back. I just lay there at the foot of the dead-end. Alone, in a dead-end tunnel.

My bed usually welcomed me when I came to it at night. It usually kept itself warm to make me feel comfortable when I came to it at night. My bed usually smiled at me when I came to it at night.
There was something different that night though. I felt it first when I lay down. My bed was cold, almost icy. Even hard. It gave me goose bumps. Slightly confused, I pulled a soft sheet over myself. I like to pull coverings right up to my head. It makes me think that I look like an Eskimo and it keeps my ears warm. I cannot bear cold ears. So that day, I did just that. But though the sheet covered my head all right, it didn’t cover my feet. It went a little over my ankles. This was the same sheet I used everyday and nothing like this had happened before. With my feet, I tried to pull the sheet down over my feet, but then it came off my head. I pulled it over my head again and my feet popped out again. I cannot bear cold feet even more than cold ears.
But the sheet just didn’t listen to me. My bed and my sheet were treating me differently all of a sudden. They just didn’t listen to me. So I simply shivered all night with a bed and a sheet that didn’t listen to me anymore.

I had been good all year for Santa. Today, finally, I was going to meet him. Mommy had promised me he would come. I carefully placed a jug of warm milk and three cookies right under the tree because that’s where I thought he would find them. In a moment of impulse though, I hurriedly stuffed one of the cookies into my mouth. Chocolate-chip. Santa wouldn’t mind I figured, because I had been good all year. Trying to push out a piece of cookie from between my teeth with my tongue, I sat there and waited. This was the first time I would see him.
Suddenly, he came. He came from the kitchen and stood right in front of me. I looked up at him smiling and almost jumping. I couldn’t believe it! He looked at me too, although he didn’t smile. I told him about how good I had been and pointed out the milk and cookies to him. He didn’t smile. I told him about how I had waited for him all year. He didn’t smile. I was scared now. He started heaving a little. He called out to my mommy. My mommy came out crying and Santa told her that he couldn’t take the stupid costume anymore. My mommy kept crying and pleaded with him. I couldn’t understand why Santa was making mommy cry. I was scared. Santa told her that he didn’t have money to pay the rent anymore, let alone to buy gifts for me. I didn’t understand. Mommy cried even more and told him to stop drinking and to get a job. Santa didn’t smile. Mommy told Santa that she couldn't believe he was drunk. Santa stood still for a second and then he hit her. She screamed and fell to the floor. I was scared. We had been good all year. He started coming towards me. I closed my eyes and fell down while trying to move away from him. He didn’t come to me. When I opened my eyes again, I saw daddy. He was wearing Santa’s red dress and he walked out the door, banging it shut behind him.

PS- This post is about relationships.
The first passage is about dead-end relationships that you cannot extricate yourself from. Alluring relationships that you find impossible to run from after sometime. Relationships that harm you, but keep you well trapped in them. Relationships you just cannot get away from.

The second passage is about friendships that turn sour. It is about people who become distant and unknown all of a sudden. People, who after years of friendship, begin to suddenly act like strangers.

The third post is about people who let us down. People who should be there for us, but aren’t. People who crush all our expectations and cut us out of their lives without any concern for our feelings.

PPS- Sorry for all the negativity and the incomprehensibility of the post.

2007-10-23T09:53:00.000+05:30

We were so happy then. Pretty lights everywhere…yellow, green and sometimes red blinking rhythmically. And we, with candy floss in our hands decided amidst peals of laughter to head for the Family Carousel. I remember how we fought for the horse with a feather on its head. How we held on to our horses with our fingers, sticky from the candy.
We looked at each other and giggled when the ride started and the little kids beside us started screaming.

And then we got down and just walked on. Through the crowds and the noises. The lights created such a blur in my head, but your hand kept me steady. I felt so hungy, but we just walked. We didn’t think at all, but just sipped in everything around us. I even got drunk that day…everything was so intoxicating. I could see swarming faces on a green Giant wheel. They looked so happy too.

I didn’t want to stop. So we just walked even when it started to rain. I remember how we took off our shoes and just went on without a care. My hair got wet and stuck to my face. You said I looked pretty that way. The rides stopped but the pretty yellow, green and red lights still blinked in patterns. Far away some crazy soul played the mouth organ and we walked in the rain listening. We were so happy then.

2007-08-27T22:22:00.000+05:30

Someone has pressed fast forward
And so faces go by
People walk past
Utterances are being lost
In a blur I cannot comprehend.

I wish I could just sit
To feel the tranquil rush of breeze
Or feel the gentle drops of rain
On my upturned palm.

Perhaps I could have sat
With friends long lost
And shared old memories
Or future dreams
While strumming on an old guitar.

For once I want to sit
And just feel life in my veins
But now there is no time
The clock ticks mercilessly.

If I stop now
I shall be walked on
By a million steps
I shall cease to exist
And shall fade away into nothingness.

So I carry on
In fast forward
A blurry face
A hasty being
A silent creature
Victim of time

That is all I am now.

2007-07-11T21:04:00.000+05:30

The "Winds of Change" are blowing and blowing HARD. Three days ago, I was a shrivelled up autumn leaf...nervously twitching around, trying to strut invisibly into college. Clutching a half-empty bag, I glided into through the gates, almost sure, thatI was going to be ragged.

BIG BANG!!!

College has swept me off my feet...in an amazing sort of way. As you walk in through the gates, artistically moulded trees greet you, cemented against dark-green lakes (frog spawn I guess). But it wasn't exactly nature that caught my eye really. It was the people.
Colleges are like mini-Indias. Juxtaposition of the opposites. I love how open this college is to uniqueness. How it won't laugh at you if you are different. I love how Levi's jeans and khadi pajamas hang out together. I love how a faint scent of bubble-gum emerges through the smoke from cigarettes. My concept of people is definitely exploring new horizons.
Three days...and that is all it took for college life to sink into the folds of my life. The only thing that is viciously shouting "REALITY CHECK" into my unsuspecting ears is a simple word called "studies". The autumn leaf has morphed into a green spring leaf and my bag is a lot fuller now. The seniors turned out to be wonderfully cooperative...Books, notes and seniors are the only thing that will get me through I guess.
Enough of random ramblings for now...

Zeus is waiting to be interrogated (Studies beckon), so SHOO!!!

2007-07-02T15:45:00.000+05:30

As I trudged along a rugged path, chipped pieces of stone bored into my bare feet. I looked ahead and kept walking, for I had no other choice. There was something, at the end of the path, that was waiting for me and I knew I had to get there somehow. So I walked on, almost mechanically, urging my mind to transform the pain of the sharp stones into pleasure. It was like looking for a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. Only, this wasn't a rainbow. It was a road. An endless, merciless road, that never seemed to relent.

I had been walking for months now, but it seemed that I had been on this road ever since I had learnt to walk. Yet, I never seemed to get used to it. It was a fresh struggle everyday. Fresh pain. Fresh pleasure. Fresh hope. So I walked.

Finally, it happened.Lord came down. Right from the sky, he just came down and stood right in front of me.

"This is the end of the road", he said. I stopped to look at him. Expectation must have showed on my face, for without me saying anything, he quickly said, "I know you have been looking for something". I could only nod. My feet were begining to throb.

From the air, he conjured up something. At first, I couldn't make out what he was holding out to me. Then I realized. Wings. All glittery, and silvery and pretty.With an encouraging smile, he said, "These are for you."

I looked at him with disbelief, but all he did was smile. So I accepted the gift.

"So, so I can fly now?", I asked with marvel. "Yes. Your wait is over. You can fly."
I put the wings on and spread them. Just as I was about to fly away, he put in,"Remember, with great powers come great responsibilities." I looked at him one last time, nodded, and flew away.

I am flying now. Finally, I am free.

College...here I come.

2007-06-28T19:03:00.000+05:30

He has helped me out so many times, that now it seems impossible to count. Even in my most unreasonable of times, when I have been angry for inxplicable reasons. When I was sad for the silliest of things, he heard me out. When I was insolent and stubborn inspite of it being my fault, he was there again. The most important thing was, that after I was done with my part of the story, he would always come up with a solution. Somehow, he always knew what to say, and he would always make sense. He never failed to lift my spirits up.

The other day, he was angry about something. Naturally, he called me up to tell me. He was sad, hurt and angry about something his parents had told him, so I listened to him silently.

Moments like these are rare, because he scarcely needs my help on anything. He is way too mature to be brought down by the little things in life that effect me so much. Its like, he's always ready to take on anything.

So that day was an exception. He told me what he felt. He sounded so sad and so I couldn't help feeling sad as well. After he was done, there was silence.

That was the part where I should have come in. I should have eloquently come up with something that would make him see light. I should have "made sense"...like he always does. But I just didn't know what to do or say. I felt so inadequate. Like a capital idiot, I mumbled something vague and incoherent. Like I said before, he is way to mature to ponder obsessively over inconsequential things, so I knew he would be alright after sometime. But the point is, it wasn't me who helped him. I don't know if he noticed it. Even if he did, he would forgive me for it...like he does pretty much everytime I make a mistake.

This is just something I need to get better at. And the only way that can happen, is with practice. I mean, if he is sad a lot and I get more opportunities to help him out.

Ironical part is, I hope he is never sad again.

2007-06-16T19:42:00.000+05:30

X had been stabbed many times. In the back, I mean. But it never hurt as much as it did that day. Orkut scrapbooks are very, I repeate VERY risky. X read scraps X wasn't supposed to read. And then the trouble started. Imagine investing all your trust into one singular person. Sharing EVERYTHING with that person. Your deepest secrets. Asking for that person's opinion on EVERYTHING. Feeling secure. Knowing, that no matter what happens, no matter what people say, no matter how many fights you have, that person is going to be there with you. Like a "best friend".

The bubble burst. X couldn't believe X's eyes when X saw the scraps. For a moment, X couldn't breathe. X closed X's eyes to try to think straight. X tried to come up with some excuse, that would bring out some logical reason to justify the back-bitching. It must be a joke, thought X. Then reality sunk it, all of a sudden, and X could not hold back anymore. Like a baby, X begun to cry. Loudly. Uncontrollably. The tears seeped through X's cold fingers and fell to the floor. X quivered, and shook as X's world began to spin.

But then, X wasn't weak. X looked up once more and decided to face it. X always believed in living for your own self. Enough of the big philanthropy. That was all tosh. Most people who talked about it, never followed it anyway. X had always said, "I live for ME. First, I make MYSELF strong, then I can help others as well. People who really need me, shall always find me." So X decided to stop. It wasn't easy for X ofcourse, as the person concerned was very special to X. Still, X wiped off the tears. X smiled. Life is about learning right? Learn, remember and then move on to learn something else.

N.B-(No pronouns used...X can be a boy OR a girl-Take your pick).

2007-06-09T22:50:00.000+05:30

A friend recently asked me, if blind people can 'see' dreams.
This is what I think...
A person who could once see, but is NOW blind, holds the capacity to 'see' dreams. He/she knows what faces look like, what mountains, flowers, sunlight, garbage, stars etc look like, so he can see them in his/her dreams.
A person blind from birth however, (strictly in my opinion), cannot 'see' dreams per se. He hasn't seen the face of the voicehe hears everyday. He might have FELT the features of the face. He hasn't seen how red tomatoes are, or how green cucumbers are. He might have SMELLED them. These people, I think, don't SEE dreams...but feel, smell or hear them. They dream, but its likea whole new experience.
Speak up knight!! Where art thou?
What say you?

2007-06-03T22:00:00.000+05:30

You destroy me. You call me near, and then you lash out at me. You hurt me, my body, my mind, my heart, my soul. Slowly, piece by piece, you gnaw at my thoughts and reduce me to a mere nothing. Yet I come back to you again and again for more. I come back running to you whenI feel like crying, knowing that after you are through with me, I will end up crying even more. Yet, every single time, after you have let me down, a fresh plant of hope stems up and I firmly believe that perhaps this time, you will love me like I love you.

2007-05-31T15:42:00.000+05:30

Sleep doesn't come easy nowadays. Question marks hover above my empty head. Looking ahead, I can see a thick blanket of fog blocking my way. I feel so cold inside. Funny, because I spend all day in the sun getting college applications attested. I really do not know where I am going to go. The dreams that I have been nurturing within me since ages are screaming out loud. They are quivering, shaking...trying to break away from the shackles of negativity that have recently crept up. ButI am scared. Scared of not living up to their expectations.I need to study for my entrances, but I feel like I have had enough of those stupid exams. Just cannot take it anymore. For once, I just want to close my eyes and sleep without worrying about what I have to finish the next day.
Then again, sometimes, when I feel like picking up the phone and pouring my heart out to someone, my mind grows numb. Some of them are too tired to message and have gone off to sleep. A few are busy with their respective "partners". Heck, real friends are rare. They have their own problems without me adding my own to theirs. Plus, I don't think it should even be that way. I mean, isn't it better to be able to solve ones problem oneself?
Muddle, muddle. There is this little mosquito that is bugging me right now, but I really don't want to kill it. When I was small, I used to derieve pleasure by giving ants swimming lessons. It would end by most of them dead and some of them tipsy because of swallowing too
much water. I learnt later, that ants aren't very good swimmers. Now I don't like to kill insects if I can help it. So I am trying to shoo the mosquito away. (Call me crazy, I don't care!) OH, and if the spelling of mosquito is incorrect, I'm sorry.I really am not sure if there is an 'e' at the end or not.
GRAVITY IS A MYTH
THE EARTH SUCKS.

Naah...I just gotta get up, and get going. RIGHT?

2007-05-25T16:06:00.000+05:30

I am back, after a comparitively long break. The reason being plain and simple- for the past couple of days, I have doing nothing but think. Predict rather. What, you ask?

MY BOARD MARKS!!

Day in and day out, I have been sitting alone, biting my fingernails (and I don't even HAVE that habit!!), seeing humongous 60 percents hover in front of me. ( I saw a 20% in one of my dreams as well).
ANYWAY, tension over...we all did well. Going to school was fun. A few newspapers took our photographs. Met the Principal. A TV local channel even took an interview.
We are all going our ways now...my friends I mean. No more bunking tutions to hang out in CCD anymore. No more bunking classes for theatre work shops anymore either. No more known faces around me...
I don't know if I should be happy or sad...
Well, this is the end of this post. I did not think about the words I'm using. I don't really mind if this post isn't a good read. Just wanted to remember these moments...

(PS- My dad has promised to buy me any cell phone I want...YIPPEE!!)

2007-05-04T11:08:00.000+05:30

A sudden head rush. I fall with a loud thump, from the quiescent azure of my dream world onto a bed covered with red poppies.Yawns and stretches. The sky outside, mumbles a grumpy good-morning. It is about to rain. I want to do something great today. No more sitting about like a lazy cat blinking my eyes in tune with the ticks of the clock. No more drawing eyes on sheets of paper. No more cracking my knuckles thinking about chocolate pasteries (YEAH, I KNOW I'm bonkers).
Before I even step off my bed, I'm filled with this stong conviction...Today is going to be different. I will make it so. I shall write a nice poem. I shall take pity on the woman i had been painting a few days ago and shall complete her face. I shall start with 'The Ebony Tower' by John Fowles and read a substantial amount of it before I get up to eat.
And so I step off all smiles, leaving my little cocoon, all set to spread my eclectically hued wings and fly.
I slipped on an invisible puddle of water in the bathroom and hurt my elbow. 'The Ebony Tower', strangely (and deliberately, I think) went missing. The poem simply refused to take shape. I was, after all this, in absolutely NO mood to paint and might Imention, a chocolate pastry DID come, but it dissappeared into a great black hole called MY BROTHER before I could say "ME".
Curses and frowns. Ups and Downs. Devils and clowns. What a GREAT day.
And so its back to sqare one. I sit in my room late night browsing through a few quintessential paintings of the post-impressionism period. Lights goes off.
Curses again. The neon stars and planets on the ceiling of my room begin to glow, casting an artificial moonlight all around.I spot a little curvy figure in one corner. Dark and smooth. I pick the guitar up and begin to play. In the dark. Everything is forgotten. Music is lovely. Music is prayer.
Dinner is Chinese...my favorite. And that too in candle light. Smiling faces all around me, glowing in the orangish light. Mom laughs loudly about something dad says. My brother generously offers to put a second helping of chowmein on my plate. Our shadows dance on the walls due to the flickering flames and I am reminded of cave men sitting around a humongous fire and their eerie shadows on the cave walls, for some strange reason (This is how they showed them on Discovery).
It is late now, so I make my way to the bed. Those red poppies again. As I lie down, I find 'The Ebony Tower' breathing quietly under my pillow.
The day wasn't too bad after all.

2007-04-20T11:03:00.000+05:30

When you left
It was raining
I was cracking
You were gone

I started searching
Searching for answers
I went soul tripping
With an old fortune teller

She said very little
But it felt like a lot
Dark paths of a long life
But without you

A job I wouldn’t like
Couple of kids, I don’t want
Money I wouldn’t have
And unavoidable death at the end

When you left
It was raining
I was cracking
You were gone

There is only one thing
Worse than being at the bottom
Is being where I am
And looking all the way down

(From a website)

2007-04-17T17:02:00.000+05:30

Coldplay croons softly about “Yellow” stars in the background while I snuggle up in a royal blue, cushioned chair in front of my computer, in a vain attempt to write SOMETHING that makes sense. I do not why my thoughts simply refuse to materialize, but I am determined to end this unhealthy habit…so here I am.

I went to Park Street the other day with some friends. Its old world charm juxtaposed with posh restaurants, each battling with each other for popularity, has always appealed to me. We were standing in front of Music World deciding where to lunch, when I broke apart from the conversation to look around…something I often do (much to people’s irritation). Youngsters made their way criss-cross in a hurry. It was like a plethora of Nike sneakers, Adidas t-shirts, Levis Jeans and Esprite bags. I could not help wondering how the place had changed…how people were openly WELCOMING change…how they preferred a burger at KFC much more than a simple meal (this is highly relative though).
Suddenly my eyes began to see things I had not noticed before. Bodies emerged from amidst the so called “western” crowd…bodies that were NOT well-dressed…some which were not even dressed at all. Little children with wads of colorful gum held out their offerings to the other bunch of “brand-conscious” children. A young girl was picking out lice from a little babies hair while two girls behind me were talking about going to Habibs the next week end.

Economic polarization…that’s what they call it. The two worlds survive quietly…peacefully even, and they will go on. Pangs of sympathy flutter my heart as I catch a glimpse of an old man without a leg, but I know there is not much I can do for him. For a moment, I feel guilty when the cell phone in my pocket vibrates but I know that it shall not stop me from buying a better phone next month.

They finally decide upon McDonalds. My friends, I mean. I take one last look around to soak in the picture and then make my way for lunch.
Coldplay is still going on about "Yellow" stars and the I am sitting on is still a shocking shade of blue. Both very much there. Irony, is it?

2007-03-31T21:41:00.001+05:30

It’s a beautiful morning. A birds chirping-sun shining-wind blowing kind of day. For once, the day doesn’t start with an angry voice telling me to get up and study. I’m positively bloating up with happiness. Nothing can deter me now from this tranquil bubble I am in.
I decide to go outside to my front lawn. Cool breeze running its fingers through my hair. The sunlight gently patting my face. Leaves rustling. Birds singing. Everything is in perfect melody. I stand there, with all my senses heightened. Everything around me looks sensationally beautiful. I feel beautiful myself. I am one with Mother Nature, enjoying an ecstasy that cannot be described in words. Enriching my life. Being nurtured by the wondrous gifts the Mother has bestowed upon me. This is my moment of glory. I close my eyes to remember this moment forever…

SPLAT!

Right at the centre of my head. With a triumphant “caw” the crow was off, and I was left standing there, with white goop in my hair. I guess all Mothers are alike...awesome, yet insanely stern. Mother Natures signal was loud and clear…GO STUDY.
So much for my beautiful morning.

2007-03-19T19:59:00.000+05:30

She looked beautiful. Wispy white hair lent an odd serenity to her beautiful face. A little smile was just about to take birth on her lips…kind of like the Mona Lisa’s mysterious smile. And her eyes…I have never been able to decide their exact colour. Sometimes grey, sometimes blue…
At this very moment, as I looked at her, the sunlight was pouring in through the window and falling exactly on to where she was sitting. And she sat there peacefully, swatting away the occasional flies, defying the arrogance of the sun. Her eyes looked blue…speckled with gold.

She burst into a crackle. Her wrinkled hands tried very hard to open up the little packet of Gems and finally succeeded. She fished out a strikingly pink one and popped it in. The packet slowly emptied itself…she chose the order of colours carefully, the pinks disappearing first.

My head reeled. I couldn’t study, couldn’t eat and felt feverish. I felt as though some one was hammering the insides of my head. The medicine wasn’t showing its effects. And suddenly, a soft hand provided the coolness my pillow was not being able to provide. I looked up to see her…those eyes again. I closed my eyes and went off to another world…dreamless sleep. I got up four hours later…she was still sitting there.

She lay there almost motionless. She didn’t look at me…or any one else for that matter. She hadn’t even recognized me. Her breathing was raspy. I looked into her eyes. And for the first time, the thought of her not being there made an appearance in my mind. I excused myself and rushed to the bathroom. I cry only behind closed doors…

2:00 am, 17th March, 2007. The night before my Hindi board exam, I suddenly got up to find my parents missing. I called them up…
A quivering voice gave me the news….

I thought I would cry, I thought I would not be able to deal with it, I thought I wouldn’t be able to give my exam. But I just sat down blankly. I didn’t cry. For a moment, I felt angry with myself for not crying…I should cry for her, I told myself. But the tears didn’t come. Another voice inside me piped up…she had been in a lot of pain…she is safe now. She is with Dadun, just like she had always wanted.

Didun, look down at me after you are through with your Gems. Look down at me when you are sitting on a lofty little white cloud, talking to the sun. Look down at me with your beautiful eyes…for I shall always be looking up and smiling at you.

2007-03-12T19:24:00.000+05:30

I've always wondered what the big deal about the so called "Abstract Art" was. I mean, u take paint, n splosh is all over the canvas...and lo and behold...10,000$ for something that might have been painted by a two year old trying to draw a bull. I have always stared at such paintings with immense concentration, hoping against hope that realization suddenly dawns upon me and that I too will marvel at these master pieces. What angers me more is the people who DO dechipher the meanings of these things...or pretend too, as the case may be.
ANYWAY, I came across a piece that i DID understand, so here it is. It's called INDEPENDENCE. the painting says it all...the struggle, the tension...and then the sudden outburst to liberty. Easy on the brain...and highly useful for Third Theatre. Definitely my kinda thing...CHEERS to MY break-through (Finally) into Abstract Art.

2007-02-14T07:52:00.000+05:30

I feel like getting up on a chair, grinning from ear to ear, clapping till my hands turn red and shouting the following words in exhilaration… “HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!!!”

If you are one of those miserable souls, who after desperate and deliberate attempts, were unable to muster up a decent date (read: unable to “make friendship”) and are now tucked away alone at home in spite of Riya Sen’s croons of “Will you be my Valentine?”
SHAME ON YOU!!
You missed out on a humongous opportunity! You missed out on a national party here… you missed out on a lunch with someone, you missed out on bunking tuition, you missed out on a gift (definitely the highlight of it all)…and basically, now your friends are worried that you won’t ever fall in love.
So WHAT if your exams are just around the corner? This is VALENTINE’S DAY…to lie at home and go out with a red-colored something for someone to celebrate your love, is like a tradition that on any account MUST be followed! If you didn’t….the only word that comes to my mind is-SHEESH!

For those of you who know me…you know that I’m being HIGHLY sarcastic.

I’m reminded of a similar situation in a different context…people with tikas on their foreheads, eyes closed, reciting mantras in Sanskrit, the meanings of which they don’t have a clue about…
I mean, does God understand only Sanskrit? Who says Ram didn’t know French? Is God going to understand your prayer even if you yourself don’t understand it? In my opinion, you could be saying things in English, Hindi, Sanskrit, French, Hebrew…you don’t even need to speak for that matter…if you truly know what you are saying, God will know what you mean. A prayer in Sanskrit could very well mean, “God, I want a lot of hair to grow on my back” for all you know, and you might be saying the same thing day after day with renewed piousness! My point here is…before doing something, know WHY you are doing it.

This goes out to all those starry eyed, love struck individuals (starting from the shocking age of 12 years), who have paired up with some one (some even for just a day)…

“Why do we celebrate Valentine’s Day?”
No, I am not looking for crappy answers… “To celebrate love” can go to hell as far as I am concerned…I want the actual reason.

Since most of you qualify for the category- IQ below 50 and don’t know what the newspaper is…here is the answer…

In Italy, there lived a Saint Valentine who favored the union of men and women in holy matrimony. He was however, not supported by the King (King Claudius i think) of the time and was eventually executed by the orders of the court. Valentine’s Day is thus celebrated in remembrance of the martyrdom of Saint Valentine.

If you knew the above answer, then go ahead…celebrate…
And while you are out celebrating, I’ll sit at home and say to myself, “HAPPY PERFECTLY NORMAL DAY.”

I also wonder if people remember why 30th January is special. I wonder if people even know that it’s called “Martyr’s Day” due to the death of a certain Mahatma Gandhi. I wonder if people actually had the time to close their eyes for 2 minutes when they have a whole day to remember the martyrdom of our best beloved Saint Valentine…

2007-02-06T01:42:00.000+05:30

The digital watch in front of me belches out a loud 1:40 (am mind you) at me trying to bring me back to my senses, but I have learnt to take time in my own stride. A picture of me right now would be a perfect fit for a “Genius at Work” poster, what with my groggy eyes, miss-matched baggy clothes and spectacles, barring the fact of course, that I am NOT a genius. If this post lacks sense to you, you are not to blame me…I was well tucked into bed when I suddenly felt the need to write something (IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT). My conscience has taken the beating of a lifetime and has stopped distinguishing between right and wrong, so here I am…treating my ears to the little clicks of the key board.

Loads of things have happened recently…our school farewell for one. Umpteen girls in sarees, walking (trying to anyway), talking, laughing…some even singing and dancing…yet all of them, when they look at each other see the same thing- nostalgia. If I say the farewell was INSANELY GREAT, I would me making an understatement, because this was one of the BEST farewells MBG has EVER witnessed. Award ceremony was “interesting”…most of my friends were awarded and I shouted myself hoarse cheering for them only to find out that I myself was to receive an award…MISS *beep*- the girl with *beep*. Ha ha…I love the power of anonymity writing bestows upon one…I can hide whatever I like!!! Food was nice too…but MAN, oh MAN…a DJ party with disco lights and the works??? AWESOME!!!
A missed scene that could have created ripples of wonder on YouTube- saree clad girls dancing (and singing loudly) to the song “Sutta”. For all those who weren’t there and had to go home- you missed something BIG.

Coming to recent events…I have learnt a tremendous lesson in life. Every person that comes your way should be given a chance. There is something good in each and everyone of us…open you eyes and see it. This pertains to someone who has helped me in times of need when that person didn’t even know me well…thanks.
I will end this here since I don’t want to go overboard with the cheese factor…

Ok…pre boards…English paper…essay…topic- “I feel helpless when…”
I’ve got 10 minutes left and I’m kind of worried when suddenly I start humming the song “Trouble” by Coldplay. I scold myself and try to concentrate, but no…I’m on to “Clocks” now. And then…its like a bulb suddenly lit up above my head…
Take the lyrics of both the songs…mix them up...stuck in a spider web…I’m caught in the middle…Lights go out and I can’t be saved…tides that i've tried to swim against...blah blah blah…and what do you get?
A FANTASTIC ESSAY!!! I aced it…(told you my conscience doesn’t work anymore)…and I definitely beat Anu Mallik.

NOW I’m worried. I’m supposed to study for my board practical on which is on the 7th and I’m here basking in self-indulgence. I spent an hour in the evening doin sudoku by the way…
So BYE. Good night…and take care.

2007-01-04T14:49:00.000+05:30

FAREWELL…

The winds are in our favor now
It is time for us to fly
Mysteries are waiting to be unraveled
Pots of gold need to be found
Time has made us strong
So fear not the unknown
Our wings will take us
Where we always wanted to go
I am supposed to smile for you now
And tell you how great it has been
So I shake your hand and pat your back
And wish you with all my heart
I try dear friend to hide from you
This aching heart of mine
But through my eyes I know you see
The stark emptiness inside
It is raining heavily now
The skies are sad for us
I’ll take this moment and make it mine
Before we say good-bye
You look at me and smile back
Amazing me yet again
As to how you can so easily
Separate my tears from the rain
We have to go now but so what
This is not the end
Take care dear friend till we meet again
On another of life’s bends

2006-12-25T12:32:00.000+05:30

Early morning…Christmas morning…I threw off my quilt hastily and rushed outside to my lawn with an exceptionally increased amount of enthusiasm than usual. I was substantially disappointed at the lack of romance the environment had to offer. Not that I had expected snow or anything, but it wasn’t even cold. Infact, the sun was up and was casting an aura of warmth around me. Even the leaves of all the plants looked greener and healthier than ever…practically smirking at the irony of it all.
I went back inside to my room and sat down. Santa had stopped surprising me with gifts a long time ago. Bummer.
I was determined to not spoil my day, so I decided to close my eyes and imagine something good…this invariably lifts my spirits. I closed my eyes to the Vitruvian Man picture on the wall in front of me and transported myself else where.
It’s cold. There is an odd serenity all around. The trees stand bare and naked. I should be sad for them, but there angular, slender shapes make me want to paint. A grey sheet of snow covers everything. Wisps of smoke come out my mouth. I feel like sitting down on the snow. Piercingly cold…it makes me feel alive. The sky and the ground merge…grey.
I opened my eyes. A pair of grey eyes stared back at me. “Merry Christmas”, said Didun.
She handed a bar of chocolate to me and smiled…and this was my best Christmas ever
Thank you Santa Claus. Merry Chritmas.

2006-12-08T21:28:00.000+05:30

Pearly beams of light criss-cross through a translucent curtain and fill my dark room with an eerie white. The moon is at its best. The stars lend their light perfectly to my fairy-tale.
Gradually, a phantasmagoria emerges in front of me…

Two people spot each other from a distance. They smile…they can’t help but smile. They meet. They talk. They go out for coffee. The get wet in the rain. They fall in love.
A few days later…a speeding bus…and one of them gives up his life to save the other.
The one who lives has been cursed forever.

A pearly tear makes an impromptu appearance on my cheek and disappears forever into the crispy, cotton layers of a pillow. I begin my regular fantasia…sometimes high, sometimes low, sometimes barely audible…so irregular, yet there is a beautiful clandestine melody in it for the craving heart. I cry. Everyday, I cry like I have never cried before. For the one who gave up his life…so that I could live mine.

2006-12-08T21:23:00.000+05:30

In accordance with the views of George Bernard Shaw, every man is governed by a life force. This is a force that compels a man to move forward in life, to hold on to survival till the very last moment, to strive for existence no matter what the circumstance, to overcome facades and obstacles. In simple terms, man, if given an option between life and death, will always inevitably and inherently, choose life.
Recently, a classmate of mine, tried to commit suicide. She took a few sleeping pills, and closed her eyes, hoping to never wake up again. While her body started having convulsions, she was discovered by her cousin brother and was rushed to the hospital.
She was asked by my psychology teacher when she returned to school a month later…
“Why did you do this?”
“Because I am a failure.”
“You should not say that. You are so young. Why do you think you are a failure?”
“I failed in everything in life…and now I even failed to die.”

When a crying man, fed up with the world around him, stands at the edge of a cliff, he has two options.
He might pause for a second and look around. A reel of memories might play before him…his lovers smile, his first day at school, his favorite food…he might find the shape of a cloud interesting, or the breeze intoxicating…
And then he might just step back…finding a renewed reason to live.

He might also just close his eyes, block out the light of life, shut his system down and plunge…let gravity work its miracles…

What pushes someone to end his life? Something so strong and intense that the very laws of human nature that are imbibed within us are defied? Trauma and difficulties so harsh that our life force ceases to exist?

At the end of life, when you have experienced everything that one could possibly experience, death should be the only thing left to try out. That is the perfect and most natural time to die…

To my classmate…look around you, and I promise, you will find a friend out there waiting…
Hold on…

2006-11-26T21:22:00.000+05:30

I have been suffering from this disgustingly intolerable and seemingly incorrigible disease for quite some time now…it’s called “Writer’s Block”. There are SO many things to write about, SO many things that require attention, SO many things that have happened recently, but I find my mind drowning in a useless palaver that simply refuses to end…
Words come out, but don’t seem to make any sense what so ever in relation to each other…I am desperately hoping for a paroxysm that will finally put an end to this sickness.

Maybe this is because of my studies…I am completely incapable of sitting with a singular subject for more than two hours and this promiscuity with my books is definitely going to get me no where…after doing a bit of political science, when I move on to psychology, I find myself re-revising the “Impeachment of the President”, when I am supposed to be learning about Schizophrenia. It’s bugging, it’s irritating and it’s PISSING ME OFF!!! Worst part of it was- when I sat down in the afternoon to read the newspaper, I found, to my sudden horror and shock, that I had been reading the same headline OVER and OVER again!!! For about five whole minutes, all I did was learn up the headlines of the front page!! Without even being aware of it!!!
It’s almost like I don’t have any control over myself any more…and that is definitely not me.

“So, hows life treatin ya?”
“Excuse me, but life doesn’t treat me…I treat life.”

How I wish I were back to normal…

There have certainly been some bright spots recently though…

Jal a.k.a GAUHAR *drool drool* ROCKED to no end!!! The concert started at seven when it was supposed to start at five!!! When Jal FINALLY deigned to come in, I was mighty pissed to be kept waiting for so long and was all set to NOT enjoy myself…but one look at GAUHAR *drool drool*, and EVERYTHING was excused!!!
Their songs were obviously good (established fact ain’t it?) and they interacted with the audience too…
BEST PART- They were all wearing goggles…so when they looked out into the crowd, EVERY girl felt that they were looking at her! NICE trick you guys…!!!
And BTW- GAUHAR *drool drool*, DEFINITELY looked at me…I was standing on a chair!! (ah…let me bask in this…)
Oh…and I think MBG deserves a HUGE round of applause for making this happen…the ONLY school Jal has ever performed in…KUDOS to MBG!!!

Still deep in bitter sweet moments…I think I should give my studies another chance now…
As for the newest catch line-
STUDY ON. (sorry Def Leppard).

2006-11-12T12:24:00.000+05:30

"Please don't kill me! Please don't!"

"You are one of the others. You have to die."

"NO, NO! I am one of you! Believe me...PLEASE!"

"Prove it."

"All right, all right...i can recite the shlokas of the Bhagvad Gita by heart! ask me anything!"

"Hmm...but that is not proof enough. I want absolute proof. Take down his pants."

And when his pants were taken down, there was chaos. The man had been lying...and he was killed.

(A story by an Urdu author Manto.

Part of a play Trikon.

Director-Parnab Mukherjee.)

2006-11-12T12:22:00.000+05:30

SO another day starts…a sudden spurt of golden light percolates through closed eyes…the curtains have been drawn…strands of hair have been brushed off from my face, all the yawns have been yawned…
I always feel the need to wake up with a jerky bang…just sit up straight, like I have all the energy in the world…somehow, I believe, that your very first thought in the morning reflects throguh the length of the day…and so I start the day like I want it to be…over flowing with tons of energy…

Sometimes, I find myself in a very strange place (speaking metaphorically ofcourse)…
A place where I have all this energy within me…begging to come out in beautiful forms…asking me to give birth to either a poem, or a painting, or a melody on the guitar…
These times, are filled with intense thoughts…faces zip by through the reel of memories…my mind jumps from India-China relations, to the lyrics of “Comfortably Numb”…and the very next minute, I am trying to remember what the flag of Austria looks like or what 117 * 8 is…it would be an impossible to paginate my thoughts at such a time…all my brain wants to do is think…
This current runs throughout my soul, and all I can do is feel…the colours look brighter, smells seem stronger, sounds are louder…

And so I run for a pen…or to my keyboard…in a vain attempt to pen down thoughts, that I know will be lost for ever in history when I am back to the realm of reality…but it never happens…I don’t know if my thoughts are too fast or if I am too slow, but I find myself staring at something that does not exist in real life, but can be seen through my eyes very clearly…

Everytime, I try to extend such a phase longer and longer…so that it occupies a larger portion of my life…so that I remain high forever…maybe this is addiction…but I am not on drugs at all…
It’s a feeling that takes hold of me…that enraptures my every thought, captivates my every move…that governs me…it’s a feeling I invite…something I never try to fight…
Sporadic moments influxed with thoughts I feel proud to have…
“In a place
without time or space.”

After a while, I am normal again…but even then, normalcy or mediocrity is something I do not adopt…the feeling of a high goes away though…and I am left feeling happy being who I am…weird, yet normal…happy to have experinced something as beautiful…something that is truly mine…

The day moves on…studies, pages turned, pictures taken, phone calls, food, school, missed calls…
And at the end of the day, I lie in my bed, searching throgh the labyrinth of darkness for God…I am not religious to say the least…but I know there is someone or something that lends his/her/its energy to me once in a while…
Someone/something that reinforces the belief that he/she/it is there…

2006-11-10T16:24:00.000+05:30

We are not a world of teenage soaps. The drama in our lives is usually exaggerated, but always real. We deal with more than this girl likes that guy while that guy likes this girl who likes that guy. What destroys our lives, what leads us to kill ourselves, is deeper than you can imagine. We don’t kill ourselves because we got dumped by a girlfriend or boyfriend, or are having trouble with our friends. That’s just the tip of the iceberg.
We kill ourselves because we feel as though we are alone, as though it can never get better…and there is no one there to tell us otherwise.

We all share the same emotions, yet we believe that we are the only ones suffering from the minds complications. Our mind is so intense that you would drown in its depths. You will suffocate when my words surround the air as I tell you my mind.

But ofcourse, you don’t even want to listen. You don’t listen. And so- I tell no one. I keep it within me. I think about it constantly. Over and over until it occupies my every thought. It haunts me. The problem gets worse and worse the longer it goes unsolved. No one helping, makes me think that no one cares. I feel that I am totally alone. I have no where else to turn to.

I need something to take my mind off my problems. I need something that will solve all my problems. I cut myself. I destroy myself. I vent my anger, my confusion and my sorrows on my own body.

Never too deep. I hate blood. I’m scared of pain, but all I can think is-Pain for pain. Maybe if I do this, I can get rid of my other pain. I can preoccupy my mind. Am I grotesque and morbid? It feels so good. Why does it actually feel good? It seems as though this will actually be the way to solve my problems.
I can get attention this way. People will see my scars and help me finally.

But then, why do you look at me so wierdly? Like I am disgusting? I must be disgusting to cut myself right? You must back away from me now. Get away from the freak who cuts her self. Don’t get involved with her, her problems are too big, too deep, too scary.

My scars failed. No one is helping me. More people back off than ever before. Now, I know I am truly alone. The world has turned its back on me. The world is scared of me. I am not fit to live in this world. You have shown me so many times that I don’t belong, now, more than ever. Thank you very much best friend, you were supposed to know me inside out. Thank you mom and dad, you were supposed to love me always and help me out my entire life. Thank you world, you have left me no other choice.

And so, I kill myself. I kill myself, and you are left wondering why I ever did it. Why didn’t I ask someone for help, tell someone I needed help?
Sometimes, you must listen to what is not being said. You ignored every word I said, and so I am dead.

Turn the television on, the teen soap outside is getting too real.

(a monologue from THE PATANG PRODUCTION)
Director-Avik Chatterjee

2006-10-25T19:29:00.000+05:30

If you are looking to freshen up, I suggest you move to some other page…this post is merely an attempt to keep this blog alive and I really do not know what it is going to be about…
After years of sitting in really close proximity to the television, reading books through the night (sometimes even in torch light under the bed-sheet) and studying in the posture of an over grown hunched up eagle, with my nose buried deep in my book, sitting at the computer through the night doing research on irrelevant stuff like Runes or Leornado DaVinci or white blood cells, it is finally happening…FINALLY, I am getting spectacles. If I am giving the impression of sounding happy at the thought…well, at one point of time, I WANTED to get specs…and I tried extremely hard to get some power, but it didn’t happen then. Now, that I DON’T want specs, I discovered to my surprise that my head ached big time if I studied for more than an hour at a stretch…and VOILA…-0.5 in my right eye and –0.25 in my left…

Let us not indulge in flummery here…for those of you who tried to suggest that I would actually look GOOD in specs or that it will make me look like an “intellectual”…YEAH RIGHT. You all know, as I do…me in specs is a preposterous sight… “pseudo intellectual geek” is more likely the word I think…
You’d think I SHOULD be happy I am getting specs…I mean, people don’t purposely watch television from about an inch away for nothing…but I can’t say I am. Human nature I guess…ALWAYS wanting something we don’t have.

Speaking of this, we were having a discussion in class about whether humans SHOULD always want more, or whether we should limit our belongings to the bare minimum and achieve peace of mind (in accordance with the Hindu way of life)…
There were two groups of course…a few girls suggested that the urge to acquire more would lead to us trudging on an eternal path of insatiable needs and ultimately to a life of comparisons and disappointments. An old man, even on his death-bed would be sorry to be leaving this world without having bought the house he longed for all his life…
The other group, however, suggested that a person who was happy with what he had already and had all his needs sufficed, would not find a reason to wake up in the morning, seize the day and move out of his home with fresh determination to do more. He would never strive for a better life, never work for a better future, never try to make the best of his available resources…wouldn’t even try to make resources come within his availability…
Although I was a part of the second group AND I fought vehemently (being who I am) for what I was supporting, when I went back home and thought about it, I was not too sure… I am definitely more tilted towards us always wanting more and better, I don’t think its consequences can be over-looked…still cannot make up my mind…

On this note, let me say AU REVOIR…and to all my class mates, all the very best for tomorrow…(PS- I saw that I got a 32 on 100 in Hind in my dreams…which I am pretty sure, is also a reflection of reality!!!)
Take care…*GULP*

2006-10-11T18:41:00.000+05:30

“Listen, I have to tell you something.”
And then…Silence.
Silence screeches out a thousand words sometimes…if only you open up your heart and truly listen…
The silence said it all…I knew everything before it was said. I heard the tears quietly fall down burning cheeks, gently stop on a trembling lip and then make their way in to oblivion. I heard gasps that were trying so hard to not make themselves heard. I heard the blinking of solitary eyes trying in vain to see through the envelope of hurt.
I heard…that this was the end.
The end of the best thing that had ever happened to two people…the end of a friendship that was supposed to last forever.
“You say best, when you say nothing at all.”
And then we spoke… “For the last time.” Two people, who spoke every single day more than thrice, two people who talked through the night in hushed whispers watching the wake of dawn together, two people who shared every fleeting thought with each other, two people who talked about life, about love, about other people, about deserts, about the sky, about colours, about truth, about insecurities, about glories, about the future, about their friendship…those two people, spoke for the last time. And they were at a loss of words.

Dearest friend,
I hope you heard what I didn’t say. You are the bestest friend one could have and you will always have my love with all my heart. Thank you for everything.
Your best friend…

And that was it. We finally got out the word we feared so much…
We said bye…one last time…and then there was a click.Good bye dearest friend. Take good care.

2006-09-23T21:50:00.000+05:30

This post is entirely for those pals who are little blotches of white in an otherwise grey sky…Life would have been REALLY boring without you people at this point of time…

A humongous round of applause for Darshana and Joey…THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!!
The ONLY two girls apart from me in the whole of class 12 who actually listen to rock…if it weren’t for you guys, my music collection would have been zilch…
CHEERS…
Joey- still awaiting The Weazers from ya…

Lehar…DO NOT WORRY DUDE…let the rains halt a bit, I’ll be over to your place in a jiffy…all set with my rackets. We’ll have a blast…and for heavens sake, you know and I know how chicken crazy both of us are…so RELAX, Pizza Hut, Peter Cat, Bar-B-Q…ANYTHING works for me!!! BRING IT ON…
ADDED INCENTIVE- no Anshika to take your racket away from you!!! (learn to be rude to her…haven’t I given you enough tips already???!!! Hahaha)
And HEY, I couldn’t go for the basketball match on Wednesday, so I gave your name to the Interact HOD instead. Did you go? Here is a toast to our spirit…may we forever play, and may our shadows never grow less!!! PS- will never forget bunking four classes in a row playing TT!!! And of course, WHO can stop laughing when we gotta go ask for the ball huh??? YEAH I’ve got a ghoulish grin on my face right now!!!

Billi (aka Bhawnani)…need I say anything here??? IM SORRY I hit you so much, but you’re the only punching bag I have!!! Awesome partner and real cool friend…thanks!!! And in YOUR FAVORITE- Mr. Nilayan Dey’s words… “Chup Churel!!!”…this was ONE helluva line huh!!!!??? ALL our cell phones have your number stored this way!!!
Thanks for ALWAYS being there to sample Tiffin boxes with me and stuff…besides, you’re the only one who knows bout…@#$%$#@…cheers to Billi…amazing secret keeper and an indispensable friend…THANKS!!!

Never thought I’d be saying this…but CHATTU, thanks a lot too. If I didn’t get constantly punched, pinched, pushed or prodded by you, life would not have been fun! And even though I DO get the brunt of your *affectionate* abuses, what can I say?? I miss the beast at the threshold when you are absent!!! I mean it…classes are no fun without you. ONE REQUEST THOUGH- don’t mal-nourished people deserve a little food? Spare at least SOME of my Tiffin for me!!

Miss A.N, Amoeba, Abby, The Twitcher…our comedian, our “Tom n Jerry girl”…damn cool friend. IM SORRY I make so much fun of you…no wait, who am I kidding?? I’m NOT sorry!!! Come on…you are HILARIOUS!!! Meant everything with good intentions though…the all time famous entertainer. OY, remember how many similarities we keep finding among ourselves? The Aries Passion huh??? You go girl!!! Somehow, you always hit the nail right on the head when I try to hide stuff from you…and YOU KNOW WHAT?? The BIG SECRET of mine…YEAH the one that makes me smile stupidly?? You FIGURED IT OUT…but you still dunno what it is coz I smoothed it over. Some time soon…I’ll tell you…

Anam…this girl has made stuff like MARBO and EXTRA LARGE A**-***E famous all over. DO NOT be fooled by her minute frame, when this girl starts on her pranks, NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING can stop her!!! From cutting oblivious peoples hair, to calling people from Hutch offering free caller tunes and actually singing out stuff to them…life is MAJOR fun with her. Her favorite drink- Vodka with sprite, and without regular doses of this, she will victimize you till you die!!! Remember the times we have made Tazin look like a beauty princess in a public bus? HA HA…you owe me a chocolate fantasy girl!!! Its either you or MOONIIIISSSS!!!!

There are a few other people who really deserve to be thanked, but FOR THEIR OWN GOOD, I will not mention them…

LIFE IS A BALL…CHEERS!!!

2006-09-20T15:08:00.000+05:30

I think I just about speak for everyone when I say… “YIPPPPEEEEEE!!!”
ONE more day of utter torture and I would have seriously cracked. For all the people who agree with me when I say that I am mad…THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS that exams got over when they did, because a couple of more days would have allowed you to witness Shruti Bhatia in COMPLETE “mad mode”…(for those who are aloof to this side of me…GOOD)…coz “mad mode” affects everyone who comes within a 2 mile radius of me…and NOT in a very nice way!!!!

Going on to a whole new aspect…HOW were the papers…I think NO COMMENT would be the perfect take on this, but lets not be political here…
I am going to flunk BIG TIME in Hindi…
The rest of it- my answer sheets could probably be published as whole new books!!! I am proud of myself!!! So much of creativity…so much of on the spot improvisation…so much of synthetic thinking!!! If ANYONE needs ANY help making answers at the spur of the moment that give the impression of a lot of knowledge, BUT are nothing but CRAP…yours truly is available!!!

A LITTLE ADVICE-
Do not discuss answers after you come out after finishing up an exam, because like it or not, most of your answers ARE going to seem wrong…!!!

As of now…God has endowed me with natural goggles…dark circles is the name of the game!!! Yeah…I wear black shades whereever I go…natural…

Its good to be back to music…
Sum 41, Sound Garden, Blink 182, Shakira, Boyzone, Gareth Gates, Cranberries, Korn, Floyd, the usual rock stuff…listen to WHATEVER you can lay your hands on…man, I could go on listening to music for ever!!! EXCEPT …Himesh Reshamia- I would gladly throttle the guy!!!

YAWN.
A very good night to all…I’m off for my afternoon siesta…
Take care…
And
ROCK ON.

2006-08-31T10:49:00.000+05:30

RAPUNZELL

The tower is high, she’s running down,
with knotted hair, and heavy gown.
Clad in white, she cuts through black.
Of spiral steps, she has lost track.

Scorching wax on porcelain skin,
leaving scars so deep within.
The candle is bright, but she can’t see.
She’s running down, soon she will be free.

Trapped in a maze of gloomy stone,
She runs down, she is all alone.
A pearly drop on a thirsty flame.
The wisps of smoke are so untamed.

The torches glare with all their might.
A lurking cat gives her a fright.
Somewhere outside, a grumbling sky.
Gravity tugs, she wishes she could fly.

The steps go on, time is running out.
She can’t breathe, she wants to shout.
Darkness pierces her mirror eyes.
The steps are cold, like stinging ice.

Eternity finally meets its end.
Running past a final bend,
a blinding flash, she sees the door.
A final rush, she can run no more.

But just then, a thundering clap.
On stained cheeks, an echoing slap.
Against the light, a silhouette so black.
Time is up, the witch is back.

She falls to the floor, a distant bell.
It’s already twelve, she couldn’t tell.
Green gleaming eyes-capture her in a trance.
She has lost her one last chance.

The witch is back, a high-pitched scream.
She closes her eyes, is this a dream?
Freedom is sweet, but she wouldn’t know.
She’s trapped forever, time runs so slow.

She’s back on top, the tower is high.
The click of a lock, now her tears her are dry.
The witch has won, a grumbling sky.
She sits and waits for her prince to come by.

2006-08-27T22:55:00.000+05:30

BREAK THIS CODE-

IF>>>

MY NAME IS SHRUTI BHATIA

is

OW PYOC KQ UFTSVG DFCRKY

WHAT IS>>>

VFG NCQUGQL HMT ZQMMQ KQ CR KRU NGYM.

(This proves that examinations are REALLY getting on my nerves…)
ENJOY!!!

2006-08-27T16:21:00.000+05:30

THIS IS ONE BEAUTIFUL PICTURE...I AM AWE-STRUCK...

2006-08-26T10:51:00.000+05:30

Your Birthdate: April 20

You are a virtual roller coaster of emotions, and most people enjoy the ride.
Your mood tends to set the tone of the room, and when you're happy, this is a good thing.
When you get in a dark mood, watch out - it's very hard to get you out of it.
It's sometimes hard for you to cheer up, and your gloom can be contagious.

Your strength: Your warm heart

Your weakness: Trouble controlling your emotions

Your power color: Black

Your power symbol: Musical note

Your power month: February

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

2006-08-20T14:11:00.000+05:30

Please refer to the KEY before reading the following post-
PINK- Mrs. Ranjana Das (Teacher-out loud)
BLUE- Shruti Bhatia (Me-In my mind).

PSYCHOLOGY TUTION:

“…the lymphocytes are special white blood cells called T-cells, B-cells and NK-cells which produce their own antigens to mobilize the body’s defense system to kill the…”

Grrrrrrrr (That’s my stomach)

“However, as Lazarus pointed out, much depends on how n individual evaluates a stressor…”

“A packet of chips would be nice…or maybe a pastry. Oh! I know what would be perfect…a chicken pizza…mmmmm”

“…the other personality characteristic known as hardiness also buffers the adverse impact of stress resulting in…”

“Maybe I should just get chips…lets see…red or blue? Red Lays is nice, but the blue one will be more spicy…which one should I take…??”

“The General Adaptation Syndrome as proposed by Selye explains how the ongoing stress causes depletion of the body resources…”

“Ufff…bunk it to, I’ll think later. Hmmm…this is nice and comfortable. Lets close our eyes…just for a sec…a little break if I may…”

“People use task-oriented coping, emotion focused coping and ego-defense mechanisms to protect the ego against the impending…”

“Wow…really nice…I’m sooo sleepy…tumty tumty tum tum…what was the first line of The Wicker Man? Dhur bunk it…YAWN…sleeeeepy…” [Eyes closed]

“Shruti, can you explain the defense mechanisms by Sigmund Freud?”

“Sleeep…after a looooong time…don’t think anymore…bye-bye world…ahhh…sleeeeep.”

“Shruti…?”

“Snore.” [Soft]

“SHRUTI !!!” [Loud]

“HUH?? I’LL BUY THE BLUE ONE!”

………………………..SILENCE……………………………

AFTER THAT…no prizes for guessing what happened…YEAH I got case…BIG time.
Come on…we are the youth…the hard working, ever toiling youth!!! NO ONE appreciates a little nap…cut us some slack! SHEESH!!!

Mood cheered up a bit after tution though…I bought two packets of chips (Blue AND red) along with a black forest pastry…(eating a lot is MY secret of staying slim).

And yeah…some one wanted to know my rank. So here it is-
527+62-811+80+999+777-600+6-500+60-89-299-300-1+4+86+4.

The answer will give you my rank.

ANYWAY, I am feeling extremely sleepy right now (as usual) so good-bye all…

SHUBHO RATRI.
PS- Its 2 o’clock in the after noon!!!

2006-08-19T17:37:00.000+05:30

Hey everyone…
CHECK THIS OUT-

(Especially apt for the continuing members of the “Nocturnal Maniacs”)-

***************
Planet Mars will be the brightest in the night sky starting August. It will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye.
This will culminate on Aug. 27 when Mars comes within 34.65M miles of Earth.

Be sure to watch the sky on Aug. 27 12:30 am. It will look like The Earth has 2 Moons. Don't Miss it...

The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287.

NOTE: Share this with your friends as NO ONE ALIVE TODAY will ever see it again
****************************************
I don’t know how far this piece of news is true, but it will be pretty awesome if it is…
Universe lovers like myself- WATCH OUT.

And yeah…here are a few cool PJ’s I heard recently-

1) Q. What is the height of stupidity?
Ans. Two sardars sitting on a bike and fighting for the window seat.

2) Have you heard about the rich sardar?
He has two swimming pools in his house. One of them always remains empty…for those who cannot swim.

3) One sardar to another-
“Hahaha, I saw your ATM password…its four astrix!!”
“Hahaha, you idiot…you’re wrong!! Its 1259!!”

Till next time…
Keep studying.
Keep blogging.
Keep rocking.
Keep reading books.
AND wash your hands with soap after you eat.

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-08-14T20:59:00.000+05:30

“Humpty Dumpty had a great fall…”
Thankfully, all the kings’ horses and all the kings’ men COULD put Humpty together again.

Lets see…
Victim Number 1- Namrata Chaturvedi!!!
So, she gets up to run behind a friend of mine…I’m too far for her to catch, so Darshana is the only target. Namrata’s running…FAST..she runs like the wind…man, shes catching up… “RUN Lola RUN!!!”…almost there…an inch away…this is FULL speed…
WHEN SUDDENLY-
We could practically hear the screeching of breaks and then, an explosion…she was on the ground and WITH A BANG! For a second there, it was like watching a bull go down, and SURE, my first reaction was laughter…but the poor girl got hurt real bad (we were playing on concrete). Her knees and elbows didn’t stop bleeding till after a long time…tch tch. Well Chattu…get well soon.

Victim Number 2- Some teacher in our school (dunno the name)
Home science practical going on, so the girls are all inside the lab making all kinds of exotic dishes. The rest of us (AS USUAL) waiting for them, in a cloud of wonderful smells, to come out with the remnants of the food for our well trained tongues to judge. The pressure is mounting and everyone is asking the same question… “Will there be any food left for us?” We are all pacing outside the door with knotted brows…(does this remind you of an operation theatre?)…
AND THEN-
The door opens slightly…all eyes glued to it…eager to jump onto the very first sight of food…
All we saw was a very fat teacher making an appearance…she was lucky enough to sample ALL the food and she came out with bread crumbs in her hair…
She must have eaten a lot coz JUST then, she shook slightly for a few seconds and then WHAM…ON THE FLOOR…almost like a bowling pin! FORGET THE FOOD…this was enough to fill my stomach with!!! HAHAHAHAHA

Victim Number 3- Shruti Bhatia!!!
Promptly sitting in class trying to hide a Tiffin box full of chowmein under the table and eat at the same time, when a girl comes into the class with a piece of exciting news…apparently, our new school principle was sitting in the office. I am on my feet in no time…Tiffin box is quickly whisked into another pair of hungry hands…and I run for the door. Dodging chairs, bags, people…this is almost like football…everything is blurred…all I can see is the door that I have to reach…(I run extremely fast too)…
WHEN I REALIZE-
I am not running anymore…I am flying!!! So, my shoe got stuck under a chair and inertia worked its wonders on me…I tripped, I flew without wings, and then the plane came crashing down…for all those who could not figure out the expression on my face…I was groaning and laughing at the same time…IT WAS SO FUNNY!!! My knees are a nasty shade of dark blue though…but YEAH I AGREE…I MYSELF couldn’t stop laughing when I tried to imagine me!!! (Which explains why I suddenly started laughing in pol science class!!!)

A word of advice- Walk, run and eat safely…

On a whole new note…I was lucky enough to catch one of my favorite movies after a long time- “The Pianist”. If you haven’t seen it, please DO check it out…Adrien Brody deserves all the acclaim he got for his role as Vladeck.
JUST GOES TO SHOW WHAT HUMANS CAN BE REDUCED TO…
A book on the same lines (only if you see it that way)… “Metamorphosis”, by Franz Kafka…read it ONLY if you are willing to be in a bad mood for a few days…BUT the book is wonderful…guaranteed to make you think…

Well, less than a month left…yep baby, 9/11 is coming up…AND IF YOU DO NOT WANT YOUR PLANE TO CRASH, do study and take care…
Au Revoir.

2006-08-05T20:23:00.000+05:30

When you have seen your results and your mood is down, I have just two remedies for you-
Chicken Biriyani with ice cream for dessert.
Episodes of “Friends” on your computer.

I cannot believe how MERCILESS our teachers are acting…I mean, with a failure rate that is increasing faster than the population of India, I wouldn’t be surprised if we have the very same set of students for the year 2007-2008 batch as this year…

As for my results, I repeat…Lady Luck has always been kind to me. That is all I can say.

Ok, enough of studies already…I have to make something (dunno what) on “Drug Abuse”, so if anyone from Don Bosco would be kind enough to lend me some Value Education…it would be nice and EASY for me to get my work done…

Now, here is one of the WORST things I have heard recently-

Sitting in my car with this girl (Priyanka) from my block…FM on…when suddenly…

“Aaaand next we have a rocking track by a band called Iron Maiden…check this one out people, its called Fear of the Dark…”

So I turn up the volume a bit…after all the guitaring leads needs to be heard loud to truly get appreciated…I’m totally enjoying it (they were playing the concert version)…

AND THEN THE GIRL GOES…

“Uffff, why is that singer shouting?”

There you have it people… A TRUE MUSIC LOVER. Next, was a song by Falguni Pathak…she asked me to turn up the volume a bit…
Now I have nothing against Falguni Pathak, but “Yara Seeli Seeli” is NOT what you want to hear after Maiden…

On this note, let me say good bye to all…
Keep listening to music…and in someone’s words, “Rock On”. (tell me who???!!!)

In my own words…Byeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Ha ha ha (hope some people are satisfied!!!)

2006-08-02T22:41:00.000+05:30

“Comfortably DUMB”… and so we all sit there and stare at each other. Clocks tick, seconds go by slowly, almost afraid of the pin drop silence that filled the room.
Footsteps are heard…the lady in a blue sari is walking towards me…she walks past and then back again…her footsteps shattering the silence.
Suddenly, a deafening bell pierces us, cutting through the air and almost immediately, a musical and collective sigh is heard. Relief.
Exams over…and so we breathe again. We smile again.
Rustling papers, like leaves of a dry tree in the wind, create magical music…the music of freedom.
HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY TO ALL!!!* * *
I am making a list of TEN MUST-SEE MOVIES (English only)…so please give me a few suggestions. Old, new, anything will do… this is VERY important.

Oh yeah…and B*******, you were right…it is VERY bugging for people to say that the song “Iris” is by Ronan Keating. Most people haven’t even heard of Goo Goo Dolls!!! Highly irritating for the originals to not get any credit.
That is all for now.
Take care everyone…CIAO.

2006-08-01T10:39:00.000+05:30

I have become a ghost. People see me when I am NOT actually there, I am two places at once, I can transform myself into different life forms such as “flowers”…and last but not the least, a few years later, when naughty little boys will refuse to go off to sleep, their mothers will threaten them by singing a song about “SB”…don’t remember the name of the song very well, but the title is “strangely the name of a flower” (in the exact words of a certain someone).
Great. JUST what I was looking for…right in the midst of never–ending syllabuses and reaching a stage when even the midnight oil refuses to burn anymore, don’t be surprised if you spot me sitting with a dazed look, clutching my text book so hard, as if it was going to leap off into non existence.

Ok, so I took out my frustration by wolfing down eight ice creams at one go…(Abhinandan uncle was unable to stop gaping after I moved on to the third and went on to a victorious eight), but that was ALL I could do after a CRAPPY and by the way BLANK psychology paper. Highly convenient for the teacher though, nothing to correct, nothing to cut…all space…she can use the red pen all she likes. Where the hell did the questions come from?????!!!!!! I mean, I practically ATE up the book and I couldn’t answer a thing!

Going back to the examination hall…what an experience! To my left, are windows that look in to the house of a Muslim family (belonging to my friend Fatema). Let me tell you, when you are trying to remember the National Government Policy 2000, it is NOT helpful to see ladies beating their chests and chanting stuff in strange languages. To my right, the likes of Neelanjana, Paroma and ofcourse, Namrata. For the last time, DO NOT ask me stuff please…not because I mind or anything, but I have an invariable tendency to start giggling(you guys ought to know by now!). It IS funny, so see people frantically shaking their heads (almost a rhythmic up an down movement) and wagging fingers to indicate certain numbers, every time you happen to slightly glance at them. Besides, every time my answer exceeds a one page limit, I can make out Namrata trying to ogle at my answer sheet through her spectacles, almost wishing she had a telescope!
But I HAVE realized this…people in my school have this awesomely amazing talent of lip-reading…if words like “phenylketonuria” can be understood without sound, then I have just one word…WHOA!!! And not to forget the extremely tactful…rather, resourceful “kids” of class ten who sit with us…man, they could really teach us a thing ot two!

Taking a holistic perspective, the permutations and combinations of clandestine and overt relationships between the two battle stations on Darga Road continue…
People meet, people eat, people sit in buses and watch movies, people talk loudly when teachers are around, people are “Phuls”, people are pests, people are “malis”, people are Debopratim, people write songs, people do “stuff” in class, people wish to go to London…
At this rate, Darga Road is soon going to be renamed as “ Wierdville”. What a world!

And while you are still hanging in there and having fun, remember one thing… “people have feelings”, so TRY not to hurt them…

Take care…
And I repeat…Take a bath everyday…unless of course, you are looking to create arithmetic progressions with gaps of three…

2006-07-16T21:43:00.000+05:30

STUFF THAT MAKES YOUR DIL GO MMM...
(John Mayer to the rescue)

2006-07-13T14:19:00.000+05:30

While sitting in class yesterday (free period), I looked up from my book to look around me. Smiling faces, a loud babble…a cocktail of voices and noises. People were making jokes, slapping high fives, eating, laughing…everyone looked so darned happy and content. But then I looked harder.

Suddenly, the laughter disappeared. In each voice, beneath each smile, was this unmistakable under-current of tension. Well-hidden and hardly making a visible appearance, were clandestine sighs.these are the last few months that we have in our cocoons…the “Big, bad world” out there is waiting for us. And below the “just chill” face of every girl in my class, is a realization of the fact that we are nearing the end. We will be left alone to make a mark for ourselves…scattered and divided…no one to share our lunches with, no one to stick “Kick Me” on, no one to cry to. Expectations are mounting and if you look real hard into the face of your friend, you will know that you are not alone in feeling what you feel… “Will I make it? Will I be able to stay alone? Will my friends remember me?” Its make it or break it for everyone.
A friend of mine…known for her contagious laughter, did not know that I was looking at her. She was laughing at some joke…but when no one was looking (except me), I suddenly saw her stare at the ground, her eyes revealing a momentary flash of sadness. A second later, it was gone…she was laughing again.
Another friend of mine, very recently lost her mother to Cancer. She came to class stone faced, with an “I knew it” attitude. In class, she was normal…people spotted her dancing to the tune of “Tell me something”. But then, during the seventh period, I went to the third floor bathroom to wash my face…its always pretty much deserted. I heard someone crying real softly in a cubicle. I knew it was her.
When people say or do something that go against your liking, it is because of a reason. Everyone has their own little stories, their own deepest and darkest secrets they would never reveal to anyone…sometimes not even to themselves. Give everyone a chance and stop judging them by what they appear to be…a second, deeper glance can make all the difference…and more importantly, KNOW who your true friends are and be honest to them…

I wonder why I am getting so senti all of a sudden…SHIT! Maybe its a manifestation of my own tension...
Simplistically speaking, looking around class was an eye-opener…it brought about a definite change in me. I AM GOING TO MISS SCHOOL MUCH,MUCH MORE THAN I THOUGHT I WOULD...and my friends.
This goes out to everyone who is going through this (I’m sure everyone in class 12 is)…JUST CHILL. And BE THERE FOR YOUR FRIENDS WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO POUR!!! Coz your friends need you as much as you need them…

And yeah…I am seriously considering getting my name changed because Father John will try to track me down soon!!!

PS- all those who are preparing to enter the world of Mass Media like myself, PLEASE buy “Manorama Yearbook 2006”…it’s a MUST READ before the entrance exams…

Take care, study hard, don’t insult people’s moms and sisters and take a bath everyday…
Bye.

2006-06-27T16:16:00.000+05:30

It takes an eternity for me to understand the meaning of life…perhaps to understand, is not meant for me in this world. I will look for the true meaning of life in another universe…searching through all the bubble universes…trying to find another me who is totally at peace…
Perhaps we are so small that our universe is contained in a little bottle. A beautiful little girl was given a Christmas gift…a little glass bottle with little bubbles inside of it…
Her mother said to her, “ Merry Christmas Anna-Belle, take this magical glass bottle. You see these little bubbles inside it? Each of those bubbles has an entire world within them…they are in your hands…do what you want with them.”And so Anna-Belle peered inside trying to find the hidden worlds, but try as she might, she could see nothing. Sometimes when the sky is all blue and clear, I wonder if it’s the blue of Anna-Belle’s eye, trying to look inside…
She doesn’t know that another little girl is trying to look at her as well…for Anna-Belle is inside another little bottle…lost within one of those million bubbles…those bubble universes…
Maybe when they say that the universe is forever expanding, they are right…the chain goes on…a bottle within a bottle…a bubble within a bubble, a world within a world…

Anna-Belle feels sorry for the trapped worlds inside…the bubbles are fighting with each other for space. And so, she sets them free…the cork has been pulled out by her delicate little fingers with a loud pop…is this the big-bang? The bubbles explode out of the bottle…all around…one of them gets stuck in her curly hair and bursts…she stairs at them floating in mid-air with her wide blue eyes till she can see them no more…they have floated into the sky…

She is a beautiful little girl…set her free…I’m talking to the other little girl who holds the bottle to Anna-Belle’s world…pull out the cork…set her free…
Set us all free…there must be an end to this…how many bottles can there be? We can do this for eternity…but I WILL reach a world that is real. My bubble has escaped one bottle…it will escape all others and reach a place where there are no more glass bottles…where little girls are not trapped in the paradox of life…inside and outside bottles at the same time…it will be a free and real world…

(PS- For all those who will call me raving mad after reading this…I was getting REALLY bored…and I kinda like the concept)

2006-06-27T12:18:00.000+05:30

THIS IS A PAINTING I FOUND BY A PAINTER CALLED "MARIOTTI"....AMAZING PAINTING...TRY TO FIGURE OUT THE HIDDEN MEANING...THERE ARE MANY...

2006-06-21T18:36:00.000+05:30

Welcome to class XII B…

Heads bent low, hushed whispers, faint murmurings, sudden eruptions of laughter, heavy sighs, eerie silences, sudden screams, clouds of perfume, fading music, whiffs of food…
A loner sits in a corner shaking softly to the tune of a song (people in my school carry cell phones)…another looks around for prying eyes and then quickly combs her hair…
I don’t know if this is because of the heat or not BUT SOME PEOPLE ARE STUDYING!!!

28th July, is the D-Day (First Term Examinations…GULP) and people are being judged by the number of hours they sit in front of the book and the number of pages they have written… apparently, if you study late night, you are going to top (WRONG MISCONCEPTION).

ABIRA is surprising me * * *

“Oy, tor pol science koto hoeche?”

“Arre, kichu hoe ni…shudhu first unit shesh hoe geche…emon kichu na…”

I had a pencil in my hand…it’s a marvel I did not shove into in her eye ball!!! FIRST UNIT HAS BL***Y FIVE FREAKING CHAPTERS- and that is a LOT when it comes to Political Science!!!

A new trend-
If someone asks you if you are studying…
STEP ONE- Tell them that you don’t study at all and that you waste your time at home.
STEP TWO-Tell them that you are serious and that you are going to fail.
STEP THREE- On further insistence, say that you studied a BIT.
STEP FOUR-Then, even if they don’t ask, start telling them the chapters that you have
finished.
STEP FOUR-Take any number (greater than 5) and say that you have been studying for that many hours per day.
STEP FIVE-When the other person starts gaping and praising you, blush and say that its not MUCH and that you will definitely fail.

DO NOT TRY TO FOOL ANYONE- YOU ARE FOOLING ONLY YOURSELF.

Not EVERYONE is faking though …there are a quiet few who do their work and do not feel the need to brag about it…(THE WINNERS)
There is another lot who do not ANYONE study…(THE SHOUTERS)
Some need to constantly chew (irrespective of whether a teacher is there in the class or not) (THE HOGGERS)…they have even developed new skills of eating without the motion of chewing- VERY USEFUL WHEN IT COMES TO TEACHERS.

A piece of advice for those of you who WANT to study-

# Keep your head low and avoid eye contact with THE SHOUTERS unless of course you WANT marvelously insulting names to be shouted at you.

# Keep your bag in your lap at all times. Better still, finish off your tiffin before you enter school(do not forget THE HOGGERS….errr…Namrata, Koel, Abira etc etc etc…NO OFFENCE).

# If people are singing, DO NOT tell them to keep quiet. The volume will only increase.

# Do not leave your books at your desk. You will never find them again.

# Keep feeling your head after an interval of every two minutes. Yep, paper chits don’t look nice in your hair I’m sure.

# If the class is suddenly unbelievably quiet and you don’t know why, then close your book and await your impending doom. Something bad WILL happen to you.

PS- next time you go for computer class, hide your shoes UNLESS you want to find them strewn across in the balcony for Hitler to see. I found mine along with some others drenched in the rain…

PPS- new one liner circulating through class- “ you are an extra-large a** h***.”

OH….and check out the window on the third floor back-stair… someone has written… “I HAVE NOT GONE TO THE BATHROOM FOR FIVE DAYS”…I never saw such stuff in DPS!!

That’s all for now…last year with your pals…TRY to have fun but do not forget your studies…take care and keep smiling…BLAH!!!

2006-06-17T15:12:00.000+05:30

Will things never settle down for good??? Man,was Shakespeare SO right… “The world’s a stage”.

Day- Friday, 16th June, 2006

Walking down the corridor towards the back stairs in school…
DAMN, IM LATE FOR MY ENGLISH CLASS (hey, I had to do my prefect duties!!!)
Totally sure of how my teacher is going to greet me when I turn up late…
"come in, come in , Shruti…we were JUST waiting for you…you are our ever busy VIP after all…found time to attend my class???”

So I started running…ADG(English teacher will get me into trouble)…almost there…

Then I stop.
The doors near the balcony, have glass covers on them.
In front of one of those doors I find…
ANU*****
Did she NOT know that people can see her?? Fine, I know you can see your reflection in there but DUDE!! Screw getting late…I HAD to pass a comment!!!
“ Anu*****, thik hain yaar…bohut ho gaya…”
“arre yaar, mein to bas aise hi…”
“ya…that I can see…niche bathroom mein bhi mirror hain…vaha practise kar lo”
“arre, nahi ,nahi…actually…”
“vaise, I heard a lot about you…in Don Bosco…kuch chal raha hain.”
BIG SMILE… “achha? Kya?”
“voh sab choro…I ALSO heard the things YOU said about me…”
SMILE GONE… “err…kisne kaha?? Aisi koi bat nahi hain…maine kuch nahi kaha…”
“whatever…I’m getting late for my class…bye”
PANICING…“Shruti, seriously, voh sab jhoot hain…tumse kisne kaha?”

I had wasted enough time…so I left her wondering…

Hahahaha…Darn funny… what is wrong with MBG???Here are the gangs of MBG and their generalizations-

People who do fashion shows- CHARECTERLESS
People who do drama- ARROGANT
People who do quizzes- NERDS
People who do music – FRIENDLESS
People who do creative writing – BORING

So if you are in MBG and belong to any of these groups, KNOW that you have a label attached to you…irrespective of who you actually are…
IN my opinion-
People who sit in the class, DO nothing and bitch about other people- LOSERS.

NOW I have a fun game for everyone-

MATCH THE FOLLOWING WITH THE PROPER NAMES-

Baby ‘BIB’s Is JUST a friend
Dangerous Danob Hates me
Nerdy Neel saw me at TTIS
Gushing Gorai Wants to get me into trouble
Anonymous Arjyo Can squish me to pulp

P.S- take note of MATCH the following…ANWERS NOT GIVEN.

Till next time…ENJOY.

2006-06-17T13:48:00.000+05:30

PLASTIC

A web of hands, a thousand eyes.
A million sneers, so many lies.
At every step, they wait for me
And when I fail, they watch in glee.

Encrypted in a sphinx-like smile
I can see a face so vile.
Longing for me to fall and break
Offering a friendship so obviously fake.

When I look up, they pull me down.
I am famous- the circus clown.
Glistening teeth and pointing fingers
Beside me, my lone shadow lingers.

A stranger pops out of the dark
Wearing a mask so crudely stark
Through the laughter, I hear the hatred roar
The play is over, he will act no more.

The knife is sharp, a dexterous whack
And so he stabs right in my back.
I’ve got my line, “Et tu Brute?”
But no, I’m quiet, my voice is mute.

I’m not dead, just fooled you
And you thought I didn’t have a clue
It’s time for me to laugh out loud.
My acting has made me so very proud

2006-06-11T16:11:00.000+05:30

Ever heard a song that makes you want to yank your head off and throw it at the television? Well then, try listening to “Lady Chatterjee”…it’s a remix with the “New Boudi” (as the newspaper puts it). Its got a mind-numbingly monotonous tune to it, with hardly three lines repeating themselves over and over again throughout the entire song. And just when I thought “Lady Chatterjee” could not get on me nerves any more, SHE DID!!!
After being about two minutes into the song (that’s as much as I could take), I flung myself onto the remote control and went for the power button…I sat there “comfortably numb”, blissfully aware of the silence that engulfed me…
After five minutes, I gathered my guts and switched on the television again…straight to a news channel. But after two hours of my favorite subject Hindi (I’m being REALLY sarcastic), you reach a point where you just CAN’T take bad news anymore…the rise and fall of the stock market did not have to do much to make the vein in my head POP!!! I tried to watch and wait for a nice and happy piece of news, but I guess that’s like asking Chompa to defeat Danob in a wrestling match…IMPOSSIBLE!!!

Ok…you know how Polar animals change their lifestyle during the cold months of winter?? They go into hibernation and stuff…change their sleeping pattern and everything? Well…we have just gone through the EXACT same thing …not because of winter or anything…but because of FOOTBALL!!! I mean, one day, people are acting normal, sleeping peacefully, talking like they always do, and as soon as its 9th of June, there is a drastic change!!! And WHAT a change!!
“ forget to breathe
forget to eat
forget to sleep
LIVE ONLY FOOTBALL”

EVERYONE is now a member of the “Nocturnal Maniacs”…football is like a religion. People have their own Gods, their own modes of worship, their own secret codes and signs…every time there is a goal…half of the people raise their hands high in victory, shouting out loud and look up to the sky, while the other half look toward the ground, fully dejected…like they have lost everything.
And man…is this one hell of a game or what!!! My mom is refusing to talk to my bro just coz he is not supporting the team she likes!!! Whoa!! I had no interest what so ever in this sport, but I must say…I have really gotten hooked on to this…

On another note…MISSED CALLS are happening like never before…refer to the “mone mone” net (term coined by Bibaswan)…which consists of three psychics who give missed calls all at the same time. Confused? hahahaha

As for now, its time for me to say CIAO…all set for school tomorrow…

2006-06-09T13:43:00.000+05:30

NAILS > TEETH > STONES > BOULDERS > STICKS > SPEARS > SWORDS > GUNS > CANNONS > BOMBS > KEYBOARDS > ?
What am i talking about?

There you have it people... the EVOLUTION OF WEAPONS.

There have been many a time when i have felt strongly about something...and i have thus succumbed to using the only weapon i know how to use...my keyboard.
BUT then i stop to contemplate...my weapon is not going to kill people, it won't take lives, it will not create mass desruction of humanity...yet there is a hesitation within me before i begin to use it. I stop.
Before writing what i want to write, i think about what it may cause...and then i realize...MY WEAPON IS THE STRONGEST, MOST DEADLIEST ...it can hurt the ego.

A beggar is not a beggar when he is smoking his 'bidi' quietly in a corner and he has a two rupee coin in his pocket...it will hurt his pride big time if you throw him some money in that moment of his contempt...

Which makes me question my "Freedom of speech and expression."
How free AM i to write what i really want to write? Am i not bound by the egos of people around me? I don't know who might get hurt by what i write or say...(take Aamir Khan for example)...and i don't WANT to hurt the people around me...

So ita a choice i make...
Is it sticking by the "norms" and playing it safe? Preserving egos? (hiding behind the cloak of hypocrisy as some might say?)

OR

Do i let go of everything...shed off all my inhibitions...take "I don't care" to its very limits?

"With great powers come great responsibilities"...and hence, i have made my choice.
It is a great feeling to have in your hands, a power that can affect the others around you...but we have to learn to use it wisely. The romance of my keyboard and me does not date back very long...so i am still learning everyday when to STOP and when to use my power to burst free from the shackles of commonality.

Today, when i sat down to write, after a gruelling session with my books...my mind was stark blank...an empty page.
But such is the keyboard sometimes...it brought a whole post out of me...my fingers moved on their own...i was only half aware of the clicking noises of the keys. And sometimes, when i am so full of over-whelming emotions, the keyboard refuses to lend me any light and i sit motionless.

WE ARE THE YOUTH OF THE NATION (hey!! I sound like POD!!)
KNOW YOUR POWER > < KNOW YOUR LIMITS

Thats all for now...study hard eveyone...AU REVOIR!!

2006-05-31T13:29:00.000+05:30

Ok…if u see a red-eyed, disheveled haired, pale, tired, scary looking monster, who grunts occasionally n bangs into everything around it…..DON’T RUN AWAY….coz its just me.
A full- fledged member of the “Nocturnal Maniacs”, here is what I have been doing these days (rather, nights)….
As the MOON comes out, I am affected and like any other teenager, MISSED CALL IS THE NAME OF THE GAME…..n even though I am not as good as the MASTER (u kno who u r), that person has promised to “relax norms”…since that person has the uncanny art of picking up ALL my so called missed calls(or so he says)…..
Recently, I have taken a distinct liking to my Bengali side, n hence, to the SHOCK of certain ppl from BAJAATE RAHO, I have been sending messages in fluent Bengali…
(P.S- members of “Nocturnal Maniacs” believe that the moon light provides excellent learning atmosphere and love to share information with each other due to which I have learnt two new words for my BONG vocabulary….
1.kothapokothon- conversation.
2.amanojogi- inattentive)
Then, at around 12, I (and a few others) are suddenly woken up from the trance like state….(its been cloudy these days n the moon is not visible at all times)…and everything ends with a very nice SHUBHO RATRI…..
BUT that is not the end for me……
THAT is when I creep up in the hall room to retrieve something to revive my energy….a packet of “Hide n Seek” biscuits can do wonders….after all, when u stay up till 3, u need SOMETHING apart from ur books to keep u awake….
BUT A LITTLE ADVICE….make sure everyone else in the house is asleep when your creeping around for food…..
I am reminded of a little something that happened to me….
It was 1 in the night (morning) and I was in the hall room trying to reach my “wonderland”..i.e my stock of junk food…..probing through thick layers of darkness (coz moms DO NOT appreciate mid night adventures with snacks)…when SUDDENLY…..
BANG!!!
I could literally see shiny things above my head even in the dark….i had banged into a PERSON. Before I could shout out, MY BROTHER did!! I guess we’re alike in this way. Studies SHOULD go with snacks…I could not blame him for fishing around for a bag of chips.

In someone’s words “we are all going PARANIOD”….but hey, its not over yet…..just screwing up a test is NOT gonna keep u from getting into IIT or where ever u wana go….u could go on a hunger strike to protest against 27% reservation OR u could sit at home n study your head off…..JUST DO IT….there are people out there making themselves heard- thats their thing(Rang de Basanti is showing its effects to some extent)….so do your thing in your own way…n u will go where u wana go….
“if you want a miracle, be the miracle…”

And if u wana derieve some sort of sadistic pleasure (like I did)….watch Arjun Singh get grilled in an interview with Karan Thapar(CNN IBN)….you’ll learn new ways of stammering….it’s a sure shot way to lift your sprits for at least a short while…..
BUT the important thing to remember is that THE GOVERNMENT IS STANDING FIRM AND THE OBC’S ARE GONNA KICK OUR BUTTS IF WE LET THEM….so work as hard as u can…
Time for me to “work hard”…after lunch of course….so bye all.

2006-05-21T12:45:00.000+05:30

SHE

Against the yellow moon,
I see her standing there.
Her hands she has outstretched
Swaying with open hair.

She stands there dark and tall
Her arms she’s held up high.
Though on the ground she is
She’s trying to reach the sky.

There is nothing there around her.
Just the silent air.
Wrapped in a cloak of darkness
All she does is stare.

She looks up to the heavens,
Wondering what took her friends away.
Gravely, yet strongly she stands
Though she’ll go too one day.

She’s envoking the mist around her,
She wants to be set free.
But all she can do is wait,
For she is just a tree.

2006-05-18T15:33:00.000+05:30

ME: ummmm….mom????

MOM: wat?

ME: ummm…actually…err…

MOM: u want ur pocket money??

ME: no no!! that’s ok, I don’t need it rite now. Umm…. the thing is…ummm

MOM: don’t tell me u crashed the car again!!!!!!!!!!

ME: Arre NO mom!!! Are we goin anywhere on Saturday or Sunday??

MOM: no…y??

ME: err…actually..LMB has their fest Syzgy and… .ahem…can I go for the medley???(cough cough)

MOM: HOW DARE U EVEN ASK ME SUCH A THING??!!!! I TOLD U THAT U WONT GO
NEWHERE IN CLASS 12!!! U WENT FOR EVERY FEST IN CLASS 11…DID I STOP U
THEN??? NO SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY…AS SUCH U DON’T STUDY…
@###$%**&@#$%%%%$##!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOT FAIR???!!!! Y???????? anyway…for those of u who spotted me on Saturday in syzgy…
I DID go(conveniently forgettin to tell my mom) for 2 hours…COME ON!! I cudnt back out last
Moment…!!! And its not like im not studying!!Anway...it was worth it coz we came 2nd(at the
cost of me being shakti kapoor on Stage) and ppl callin out Deepens name wen I was on
stage And who can forget…the look on Chompas face wen bosco came last!!!! Hehehe…

Didn’t go on Sunday though…Deepan in Adrita guha’s skirt…hey hey hey..i KNOW Deepan is
prettier than me. and SOMEONE asked whether I was singin with my skul band.WHY on earth
does my name ALWAYS come up????!!!!!

Dig this…one day after school, I was eatin ice cream at Abhinandan (like always) n a kid from don bosco comes up to me…must hav been in class 9….
“Excuse me…are you Shruti didi???”
“ who are you????!!!!”
“actually didi I just wanted to ask….are you Deepan bhaiya’s girl friend?”

and while I was still gaspin for air, the kid said, “bye bye didi” and ran off!!!!

On a whole….life is goin on at its own merry speed….with little stories that I am surviving on….for instance..AC telling ppl that he said stuff that he did NOT actually say…b*******and n****** writin my name on chits during their tution, abira planning to call spirits at my place,sumone missin a certain sumone who has gone to Digha on a skul trip, my friends n me bunkin tution to go to CCD(for the first time), my bro handin me 5oo bucks just coz I told him that I wanted to buy chips, bacchas plans for the future……
Life is certainly not boring……. But I really wish there was sumthin to do apart from studies. I mean, yeah I read a lot n listen to music…n my comp is always there…but there is no place to go, no projects to complete, no practices…just nuthin.
As arijit puts it, “all work and no play will make SB dull one day.”Well u got that rite!!!!

2006-05-16T10:03:00.000+05:30

What is the use of making amazingly great movies like “Rang De Basanti”????
I mean look at the country… “Doctors go on hunger strike” …..
I don’t have anything against the OBC’s…but honestly…what is wrong with the government dude??? The whole concept of reservations in institutions was supposed to be done away with in around 50 years after independence…we hav long passed that mark. So what does the government do??? INCREASE THE QUOTA??!!! Ridiculous!!!

Wana get a government job?? Well…go to Amritsar…and obtain a FAKE certificate to prove that u belong to the OBC….dats as simple as it gets!!! check out the news ppl…it’s a major scandal. So all those who have been workin their butts off to get into IIT, and manage to secure good marks, have to stand in the line behind an OBC just coz they were not born as a lower caste!!!???? CASTE??? its a stupid, made up, out dated concept anyway...

Excuse me, but I thought our country was trying to promote secularism…wasn’t discrimination based on caste “supposedly” not good?? Wats the new government policy then- “if ur not an OBC…ur an ABC(All Baffooning Clowns)”…or is it-“the constitution sucks”….maybe its “ive got the power”…

THANK YOU FREEDOM FIGHTERS….THANK YOU POLITICAL LEADERS..FOR GIVING US THE LONGEST CONSTITUTION IN THE WORLD…THANK YOU FOR ALL THE HARD WORK….which im sorry to say might as well have been implemented on another planet!!! Coz over here in India, we don’t like being called the “land of kings” anymore….we prefer being called “land of no government” these days…..

2006-05-05T22:05:00.000+05:30

Who said Kolkata had no night life?????

Nowadays teenagers are staying up late night to not only study, but research and survey both show that an increasing amount of teens have formed a new habit of giving people missed calls in the middle of the night.

Psychics believe that the moon has a magical influence on the mind of the teenager and they feel an unsuppresable urge to fiddle with their mobile phones and they end up disturbing their fellow teens by waking them up.

Another theory suggests that teenagers are now showing a growing affiliation towards the sound of the phone ring. That is why after they dial a particular number, they listen to the phone ring and then hang up…their main aim is not to talk but to listen to the ring.

Another theory….MY THEORY, believes that SOME teens who have NO WORK IN LIFE like to give people missed calls when they can conveniently be studying or sleepin or whatever.

So welcome to Kolkata…brimming with enthusiastic teens, ever ready to act as ur alarm clock and wake u up…awake till odd hours in the night…having all the energy to look up phone numbers of people who they don’t know and then disturb them by giving them a taste of the new big thing in town…..“missed calls”…

HOPE PEOPLE GET WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY!!!
IF U DON’T, THEN UR NOT MEANT TO GET IT!!!!.

As for me, I still say…when ur tired of studying, and its 12 in the night…pick up the phone and TALK to a frnd…only a very few people have this blessed priveledge….a word of advice…talk till its 3 in the morning if u really want sum fun….LOL…
[I might be talking in secret code]…only dat frnd knows….

Who needs discos n stuff wen u got ur phone??

2006-05-03T17:36:00.000+05:30

Q. What happens when a girl enters a restaurant and a guy breaks a chair????
Ans. PEOPLE GET WRONG IDEAS!!!!

Come on….have you all forgotten Shreya?? The man has declared it himself…(“Shreya is prettier than you any day.”). Now don’t even try to suggest that he “feels sumthin in his heart n that he does not feel the need to say it out loud”….ring any bells?? If the neel man thinks so then iv gotta say this…dude, u got it all wrong!!(puleeese…THIS IS NOT DIRECTED TOWARDS ME!!) u see…neel SECRETLY has a crush on abira!!! Don’t believe me?? Ok, dint neel call her up to find out is she is goin steady with mayukh?? And wasn’t he disappointed when she said yes??? Hahahaha…
Yo neel…I know, I know…in ur heart lies the true spirit of a Bengali…u feel tremendous love for ur nation…as well as for some other thingsss….

Ok, ELECTIONS took place today…n I became prefect…IN MY OWN SKUL…thank you very much!!!! And Abira has discovered new crystal gazing skills within herself…it’s a pity she couldn’t predict much of the future…not surprising considering the crystal ball was an overturned glass pot!!! Keep it up abby, a couple of more hours n ul be able to see ur reflection in there….

Namrata is mighty sad coz Joshi(our class teacher) has strictly banned us from wearing any ornaments….sorry nams, but the famous nose ring has to go!!! This is kinda like good news to me…coz from tomorrow, all sorts of bangles, chains, earrings and rings come to me….this added to my already blossoming collection of confiscated things from last year…and il be ready to open up a shop of accessories…boyfriends, come here to get stuff for ur gal…

Another thing….SB connects with SB through AIRTEL……JOKE OR WAT????!!! ever heard of friends helping out friends??????dats it…nothing more….have a kit kat!!

Life around here has taken a new turn. If u see MBGians or Bosconians, ur sure to find them holding on to their cell phones real tight and jumping slightly everytime they see an unknown number flashing on the cell phone screen….beware people, this aint trick or treat…the PRANK MONSTOR is out there and its not gonna spare u!! sumwhere in that foggy mist, lurking around corners and whispering softly in those dark shadows are people who are constructing plans so gr8 that Einstein would have been put to shame!!
A word of advice…if u get a call from Airtel or Hutch employees, FITJEE, or a girl or guy who apparently has a crush on you….then “wrong number” would perhaps be the best thing to say!!! But if some one from TATA Indicom calls you, asking if you would prefer a broadband connection, then plzzz don’t scare them by askin them if they are from MBG….bibs knows only too well…..

As for me…still struggling to get deepan out of the clutches of raj n neel…it’s a lost cause I think…deeps has already finalized the marriage dats wit neel…hmph!!
Anyway, take care all…have fun, study hard…blah blah blah….byeeeee

2006-04-28T17:41:00.000+05:30

well lifes kinda draggin on at the moment...ESPECIALLY after receiving a call from BAJATE RAHO....RED FM studio!!
days are spent rolling on the floor, making wierd faces, sneakin in ice creams, kickin ppl on the ***,learnin lines etc etc etc...in otr words...drama practise is in full swing.
let me not bore ppl nemore....
QUOTABLE QUOTES-
1. "NATH"in else matters (no,this aint metallica....but our very own DANOB)
2. "ma'am, im calling from the airtel office...."( mr.Whiz bibs)
3. "I WANT CHICKEN!!!!" ( man can this guy eat....deepan!)
4. " i am NOT shorter than u!!!"....guess who??
5. "SO pretty lady!!!"....no way anindya!!
6. ki re!!! (shounak)
7. how you?? (bhaskar)
8. "hes goin to london!!!! sniff sniff!!!" (abira)
9. "OOOOOYYY!!!! s**a kukur!!" ( keep it up namrata!!)
10. "gaaals...today we will go very fast....!!" ( Mrs. Hazra!!!)
11. "I cant get up on a bus!!" (yours truly...me me me)
12. "kuch kuch hota hain!!!???" ( hahahaha....chompa!!!)
13. SB...treat kothay?? (just bout everyone i know)
14. "hey!! my bengali is improvin ok??!!" (MEEEEE)
15. "nice blog....." (sum airtel empoyee)
16. can i MAKE friendship with u?? ( this yucky guy)
17. " let sumthin fruitful happen...then u will come to kno..." (baccha)
18. "you are mad!!" (thank you arijit)
19. dont waste my time by asking such relevant questions!! (line from our play...THICK BLOOD)
20. "watevr...!!" (presently neel...previously me)

will be back soon with sumthing to write...just passin time for the time being...till next time...BLOG ON!!!

2006-04-26T20:33:00.000+05:30

Today FOR THE FIRST TIME in my whole 17 year old life I FELL FOR A PRANK!!!
The BAJATE RAHO TEAM of DON BOSCO caught me!!! Bibs beat baccha big time!!!BIBS, I WANTED TO KILL YA MAN!! But really, ever considered a career in acting?? You were awesum!! Im sure every one will hear the whole thing very soon, so no point describing it n embarassin myself all over again…!!!
The only words that come to my mind wen I think bout the whole thing are… “SHIT SHIT and SHIT!!!”

THINGS I LEARNT FROM THE PRANK-
learnt to speak broken English fluently
DON BOSCO GUYS ARE TOO MUCH FOR ME!!
bibs is a true genius…never mess with him.
adrita guha is going to die…courtsey SHRUTI BHATIA
should not panic in crisis
AIRTEL SUCKS!!!!
one should not have a cell phone!!

2006-04-23T16:05:00.000+05:30

One word for the stuff that’s goin on….CRAP!!!! wat the hell is wrong with ppl huh???
I feel like pukin out my intestine n shoutin out the words, “SHUT UP!!!”

This is no time to take a stand n join a party to back bitch bout the otrs….its time to be a mediater n slap everyone…awaken ppl to their senses!! Y?? Y?? Y??
This is the last year we hav in skul rite?? We are all pals rite?? THEN SHUT UP!!! LIVE N LET LIVE!!!!
STOP IT PLZZZZZ!!!!

Luk, im not takin a stand here…but plzz, as far as I know, we are all sane ppl, who like to have fun wit our frnds..we all hav our dreams, our goals..n fightin wit our pals is gonna make it harder to get to them rite???

The bottom line is…WE ARE ALL FRIENDS….n friends don’t back stab n pull ur hair out wen ur not lookin..
This message goes out to whoever mite need it (a lot of ppl at this point of time)….n class XII B…wat the **** is wrong wit u????
Ok..so if sum gal is fat or if she has problems in makin frnds, dat DOES NOT mean shes an alien ok!!!?? Stop butcherin her!!! U guys hav ur own issues…don’t get me started on those!!! Ever wondered bout how she must feel?? She freakin stays quiet all day long man!! She has no one to talk to!! She has no one to copy home work from!! Just coz U guys somehow convinced ppl that she got her sexual orientation wrong!!! U think ur kool dudes or sumthing??? Well turn around u first benchers..ul c how many ppl r laughin at u!!

and if SUMONE(sry…will not take names) wants to put on lip gloss n talk the way she does, then she has every rite to do so. U guys mock her non stop…is that the way u fill the lack in ur lives??? forgot the unity we bragged bout in X D?? we used to tell ppl bout how we all got punished together man!!! We used to proud to be a class….

Come to skul ppl….have lunch, copy the teachers, study(sometimes), talk to ur “friends”,do stuff together,form bonds,learn stuff….that’s wat skul is for rite??? We are not being trained to become politicians…screw forming parties, bunk alliances man,stop beind overtly critical of every damn thing....chill…n WORK TOGETHER….
“united we stand…divided we fall.”

and for all those who think this is none of my business....u got that wrong....whether it be bosco or mbg, politics like this SUCKS big time...n being a student myself, i hav every right to try to put an end to it.

2006-04-20T14:28:00.000+05:30

**** NEWS FLASH ****

1. SOMEONE gave my name wen the voting for prefect was goin on!!! “eta joke hoche naki!!!???” U KNOW WHO U R!!!!

2. MCC elections FINALLY over…..breathe ppl, breathe!!!! Deepan especially u!!!

3. this gal called anushree from my skul is in demand……

4. arindam is planning to scare me to death if I don’t give a birthday treat…..THANK GOD we had a half day today!!!!! Phew!!

5. “wen u die, SM will be written on ur gravestone.”….baccha…let the future decide!!!

6. baccha has left his old bad boy ways…… now THIS is wat I call a joke!!!!

7. “shreya is gud, lovely.”….sure, danob!!!

8. mayukh says his prayers every night….and “they” are good ppl.

9. my birthday ROCKED!!! A VERY BIG thank u to allllll my pals….

10. deepan is gonna treat everyone from my side.( hope deepan doesn’t have a heart attack!!!)

11. neel is shorter than me….admit it neel!!!!

12.I turned 17 today

13. anindya’s favorite word is “so”

14. arijit’s favorite number is 3.

nuthin more for now....take care evryone!! gotta go eat cake !!! ciao!!

2006-04-15T10:29:00.000+05:30

THE PILGRIM

I snatch a moment from fleeting time
Trying to hold on and make it mine.
In the zenith of a second, years flash past
The colours have faded, memories couldn’t last

Caught in the paradox of the future and past
I stand here, alone at at last
This is where I am, this is where I stand
Unanswered questions held in my hand.

I’ve seen the vales, the hills, the seas
I’ve tasted nectar, sung with the bees.
Yet another path calls out to me
Anew adventure it promises to be.

I move on to find my pot of gold,
Screaming out the tales untold.
Searching for what I can call my home.
With the rivers and rainbows I quietly roam.

The stars, the sun, the moon, all show
A waiting, enthusiastic tomorrow.
The river of time carries me with it
In the folds of earth, I gently fit.

In the zenith of a second, years flash past
The colours have faded, memories couldn’t last.
I snatch a moment from fleeting time
Trying to hold on and make it mine.

2006-04-14T22:37:00.000+05:30

THERE IS A PATH IN EVERYONE'S MIND
A PATH THAT BECKONS TO DESTINATIONS BEYOND
CALL IT AMBITION.OR DESIRE.OR DREAM.

A PATH THAT SPURS US ON TO GOALS
THAT LEAD US PROGRESSIVELY
FROM ONE PEAK TO THE NEXT..

WHEN A PATH IS NOT SEEN
WE FEEL LOST
AND THEN EMERGES THE TRUE SPIRIT OF MAN
AND A PATH IS FOUND OUT...OR BUILT.

LOOKING BACK
WE REALIZE THAT WE HAVE MADE
THE IMPOSSIBLE POSSIBLE........

2006-04-14T11:19:00.000+05:30

“Ever wish you could control your dreams??? You know, u go to sleep and dream about whatever u want……”
What are dreams??? Y do v see them???

There is a “Theory of Animism”...E.B Tylor…according to which, souls, after death, transmigrate. During sleep, these transmigrated souls interact with the body soul and dreams are a manifestation of this interaction.

According to psychologist Sigmund Freud, dreams are of a special significance as they revealed hidden wishes, secret desires and provided an access to the unconscious mind. He felt that dreams revealed things that we wanted but were unable to acknowledge the desire for their attainment.

In accordance with the most recent and best proved scientific theories, dreams portray unacknowledged wishes….wishes that have been suppressed by us….wishes that continue to exist in our sub conscious mind.

A few days back, I saw a strange dream. It will not be possible for me to describe it due to certain reasons…but the dream made me think.
It was a dream I had not expected…it jumped out at me right from the blue….and it made me feel strangely guilty….
But y??? after all it was just a dream rite?? I mean, if on sum level, even if I wanted it as Freud would suggest, its only in my sub-conscious mind rite??? I’m sane…and I know whats rite and wrong….so would I be foolish enough to try to fulfill my dream when I’m totally conscious???

Whatever said and done, I think dreams are major fun. Like last week, my bro saw a dream which had three crows trying to run from crocodiles!!! Now, that doesn’t mean he wants crows rite???
This one time, I saw a dream in which I had conveniently sprouted a beard which would put many macho men to shame!!! It scared the crap outta me!! So that means in my unconscious mind I wana shave??? NO!! what we see, what we perceive, what we feel become kinda messed up in our minds….like a tossed up salad. So I guess theres no need to feel guilty bout what we see in our dreams, rite?? RITE???
SOMEONE GIVE ME AN ANSWER….!!!!!

2006-04-12T19:47:00.000+05:30

Things seemed to be pretty heated up on the western front……im talking bout Don Bosco..the buzz of the town??? MCC elections…..
Although I am NOT a part of the school (as many would dare to suggest), I could not do much to save myself from the black hole of politics… and I thought only girls back bitch!!!!
Ppl ppl…how many times have I told ya??? Hiding behind those masks wont get ya stuff…u like a particular flavour of ice cream??? So get a spoon n reach out for a scoop!!!
Look, I am basically in no position to preach… but really…ur kinda politics is so darned funny dat I gotta stuff my mouth wit my hanky to keep myself from laughin!!!!

This guy is wit dat guy, but dat guy supports dis guy…so im gonna back the otr guy…but he might be back-stabbing, so il form an alliance wit this guy…but maybe that guy supports me
So it depends if I get this guys vote….
Im telling ya ppl rite now if u can figure out the chain of events precisely n also figure out who’s in which gang..then I swear ur sharp enough to get in IIT!!!

Look, I kno this stuff is important…but its not like ur gonna be elected as a mayor or sumthin!!! Chill…listen to sum music….hav sum water…..n then maybe splash sum on ur face!!! Wake up!!!!!! Stop cribbing ovr whos a bigger bas****, u or him…look at the bigger picture….whers it gonna get you???? If it happens,it happens…very good, congratulations…but if it doesn’t….big deal!!! No need to bite the otr persons head of for it!!!
So for God’s sake (or neones sake if ur an atheist)…cut out this silly politics n get a life!!!!

P.S—no offence meant…plzzz don’t kill me for this.
P.P.S—DO NOT invite me to wade in ur murky waters…im a non-confirmist when it comes to
Politics.

MY COMPLAINT BOOK---
LISTEN MISS CHATTU……u will bloody well keep ur freakin shoes ON in the class…..people r faintin NOT because of the heat but because of what happens wen u take ur shoes off!!!!!!! And do not forget…I sit in front of u….AND I DO NO APPRECIATE UR TOE PRODDING MY BACK!!!!!!

MISS KHUSBOO…..HOW MANY TIMES HAV I TOLD U DAT I HATE IT WEN U ACT LIKE PARNAB DA!!!! LEAVE MY CHEEKS ALONE MAN!!!!

PALLAVI BOSE…….PLZZZZ STOP SCREAMIN THE WORD B*** ***** in my ear!!!!

Ahhhh….dat feels so much better….had to take out my frustration sumwhere!!!!

2006-04-12T19:20:00.000+05:30

“We are actors…we are the opposite of humans.”

---ANTON CHEKOV
(Playwrite)

well well well…its dat time of the year again….SMARAK KOSH 2006 is back.for all those who are oblivious to the above mentioned name, Smarak Kosh is an inter-school play competition held every year by South point and M.P.Birla.
our school has been takin part every year and not a single year has gone by where we hav not won…no, no im not boasting or nething…but apart from Patang, the only place where I find a serious attempt to keep theatre alive is here.

This year, we have decided to delve into “Absurdist Theatre”. This is a form of theatre which does not have “characters”…it has “entities”. Thatagatha da told us to forget that we are ladies n told us to be “nothing”….note “nuthin” is also being sumthin here….nothing is an entity….
What is important???? “Living” or “Existing”??? if you can forget who you are n become another person….do everything dat person does n take that character to extremes of reality, does it still remain acting???? Wat if u become the otr person completely..then .hasn’t reality re- written itself to give rise to a new person??? Don’t u forget urself and become a completely new person???
Sounds confusing I bet, but these were the things v were made to think about today..
IF ACTING BECOMES UR WORLD, UR REALITY…IT IS NO LONGER ACTING. IT IS RE ACTING……

Wat is the best part bout theatre?????

You can sing,dance do nething you want on the road and ppl wont give a damn…u mite be lucky enough to accumulate a few bucks and elicit a few strange looks…but basically,u will be labled as sumone who is off his rockers. but once you get a passport to dat stage….once you have that spotlight on you….YOU HAVE THE POWER.
U can sit all through a performance and not say a word..and at the end of it all,ppl would go home wondering about the deep rooted meaning of your action.. u can be onstage and abuse a guy calling him an idiotic ass and all you will get in return is applause for ur dialogue…..once ur up there….U can do what you want, say what you like…n ppl will actually pay to cum n see you do dat…

After months…I return to where I started….back to theatre. Enough of dumb fashion shows..enough of medleys….back to the magic. The utter transformation from one person to another…..
As I said before…..this is the drama of life…..reality in its truest form.

2006-04-10T17:06:00.000+05:30

HE HE HE HE HE.....

jack n jill went up the hill.....

2006-04-10T17:00:00.000+05:30

Whoa baby!!!! Wat a day at skul!!!! First of all….FASHION STUDIES SIR GOT LOCKED UP IN THE LAB!!!! Well….he was sitin there for three periods n wen it was time for him to descend to the ground floor for class,he found himself unable to do so!!!! Go paroma…..this was a good one!!! N y the hell did esha hav to go n rescue him??? V dint wana attend the class!! Wat did she get outta it??? Sir thought esha was the one who lockem him up in the first place!!!N ppl, im sry but I aint lockin him up again 2mrw….narula is bound to prowl around on the third floor now n I hav no intentions of getting suspended!! But don’t worry, I WILL question everything sir says in class n giv u all a gud laugh…so don’t worry,v wont study much 2mrw either….n ya, il do my donkey laugh again n waste round a bout 15 mins..ok?? cant do mare than that yaar..narulas office is nearby…
Besides…did ne one of u get the home work he set us??? I cant figure it out ppl!!!
Ohhhhh man, before I forget…did the English class rock or wat!!!!??? Hope all of u like the performance abira n me put up……I hav to say,TB,Bengali miss,namrata(chattu) n of course…abira n myself, r awesum comedy material!!! I just hope ADG is absent again tomorrow…..don’t wana act as the convict again n scare everyone!!! U kno wat I mean!!!
Hehehe…ppl, BEWARE of miss chattu….man can she hit!!! Today,khushboo n namrata tried to establish their ownership over my cheeks…n one tight slap from chattu shut billi(khushboo) up for good!!! Listen u guys….my cheeks r my own!!! N I hate it wen u ppl pull them!!!!
Abiras actin today brought bak sum funny memories bout chattu…..chattu n her stomach….should I tell chattu??? Wat the heck,shes never gona read my blog(I hope!!!)….but still,this secret remains wit mbg….if she finds out I wrote bout this…shes gona slap the very cheek she so fondly pulled today…..but chattu,if u don’t stop kickin me in class…I swear im gonna announce this in the assembly!!! N yeah….i DO not like it wen u poke me n call me a gadha goru!!!
Hey abby….thanks for techin me all those Bengali galis yaar!!! For all those who don’t kno….this gal is one hell of a dictionary….wen it comes to galis…she can go on an on…..way to go KESHTO!!! Hahaha…ok sry…miss A. NATH!!!
Hey darshana….i modified the kajrare dance which had u,me,parnab da n kanti in it….how bout the ram man in a lungi n a lime green kurta????? Bet ur laughin ur butt off rite now!!!! N ur rite….parnab da’s yellow teeth definitely do not go well wit a red rose!!!
N neel…..i was cuter than u wen I was small!!!!!!! But u WERE cute too…note the word WERE.
N listen up folks!!! Im not treatin every one I kno!!! Wat do u think!!!!! Y the hell is EVERYONE askin me for a treat!!!! Bunk treat,im goin shoppin wit my 2000 bucks!!!
Arre….forgot to mention…billi is learnoin things from me!!! Comp class was fun no?? well u c…computer room is on the third floor n v gotta keep our shoes outside.wen v came bak outside,chattu of all the ppl,found only one shoe!!! She looked all ovr for her missin shoe…but wat she dint kno was that khushboo had kept her shoe on the ground floor in class!! Hehe…seein namrata scratchin her head n tryin to remember was a gr8 sight.
Well…iv made a vow….i am NOT gonna finish off my lunch in the first period again…no no no…no matter wat u ppl say!!! N no manshi,im not getting aloo paranthas for u…im sick n tired of them yaar!!!!!
Hey…sry bout sum very silly grammatical errors in the last post…was in a hurry..like now….so CHORRY!!!
Oooohhh A.N. this ones for u….fill in the blanks ok?? _________ likes ______ but _______ is leavin for London. Hahaha…enjot gal!!! Take my advice on this one….told u wat to do in skul.n bout u doin wat im gonna do….u kno,the stuff I told u in sociology class….well….vl get into the details tomorrow.N someone plzzzzzz tell me…who is baba ramdev???????????????????????????????????

2006-04-09T21:35:00.000+05:30

For all the followers of hypocrisy, my blog might come as a bit of a shock to you……but I firmly refuse to abide by ur rules of “proper” and “improper”. I simply cannot write what u expect me to write or what u want me to write….what I write will be true and brutally honest. U might hate me for it, u mite love me for it…but il quote a lesson recently learnt by me…”I DON’T CARE”…thank you Mr.Nlilayan Dey.
If u r liked by all sorts of ppl, then that only means that ur not being true to urself…coz if ur who u r…if u hav ur own opinions…..some ppl WILL hate u n some WILL love you.
Hey ppl…..plzzzzz stop tryin to please everyone….u ppl r losin urselves!!! Im indicating toward loads of ppl here…maybe u kno who u r, maybe u don’t….but honestly, it irks me to c u be completely different ppl wit ur so called friends n radically different ppl elsewhere. Aren’t u ppl suffocating behind those masks????
Anyway,on a better note….
My bday is drawin closer, so neel is practically nose deep in his own saliva…definitely more excited bout my bday treat than myself!!! Also, the all-you-can-eat ice cream competition (funded by neel) is also comin close so im all set for that. Yo neel…sore throat aint gonna bring me down!!! Get ready to lose man!!! And don’t forget to giv the winner his prize….one more ice cream and the satisfaction of being proclaimed as a true ice cream lover…dats gonna be me!!!!
Hey hey hey….on the western front, new talent has recently been discovered….for all those who need a hearty laugh…check out deepens NAGIN DANCE(recommended by neel) n abiras TOM N JERRY JIG(recommended by meeeee)….guaranteed to make ur head fall off!!
V had an IQ test in skul n my IQ was…ahem…97…falling in the “Intellectually Superior” catergory(laugh all u want…I think they made a mistake too!!) but really…richa n nilanjana….that is NO reason for u ppl to call me SUPER BRAINOSAURUS …yuck!!!!
Oh n im sry I made fun of u in d bus richa,u kno,wen u got bloated up in the wind…but u kno ur a perfect target to poke fun at!!! Hehe…im never gona forget ur “no”..wen darshana n me ask u to change seats!!!
Im pretty sad that I will not be able to attend any more fests…but I don’t wana hear ADG(eng teacher) call me a VIP again !!!! n wen the hell is Droy gonna learn how to put lipstick?? Huh???
a big sry to my pals in my skul coz u cant post comments, but I do not allow anonymous comments due to recent “blog incidents”….
Comin to a very special day of the week…..Saturday. Saturday is a wonderful day, Saturday is a beautiful day, Saturday is full of memories…if ur not feelin gud, wait for Saturday to work its magical qualities over you…wat say neel??? Eh?? Oh,I forgot…Sunday is getting better, rite???
And deepan…WEN R U GONNA DECIDE!!!!!???? AND THIS TIME STICK TO UR DECESION!!!
Well iv been blabblin bout nuthin in particular,but maybe that’s coz im feelin kinda blank rite now…..only one person truly knows…and to that person,im sry if im bringin ur mood down…..
Ganguly is getting pretty strong…so maybe I shud just cut the chase….byee all…..Until next time….stay krazzzzzzzzy!!!

2006-04-08T19:18:00.000+05:30

It was scorching outside. The sound of the traffic made my head reel and I longed to go inside. Art always fascinated me and I had heard a lot about this collection. Paintings are not just works of art, they are stories. When you paint someone, you do not just paint that person….you paint the life behind him, the struggles he has made, the things he has seen, the love he has lost. If you can
paint not only that person, but can also paint his story, then you are a true artist.
After a long wait, I stepped inside…..my senses tingling with anticipation. There was an eerie sort of silence inside and I felt like a pilgrim, finally reaching my destination. I looked around the room…a riot of hues.
Then my eyes fell upon her. Call it love at first sight…not that I believed in it, but when I saw her, something happened to me. She captured every sense of mine and I felt like shouting in exhilaration. There was something about her eyes. She must have seen a lot of pain yet the deep blue of her eyes had a prominent tranquility.
She was like this Goddess of etheral beauty. Immediately the song of James Blunt began to play in my mind….she’s beautiful. I tried to tear my eyes away, but it was like trying to breathe without air….I had never seen anyone like her.
I tried to do something to catch her eye, to elicit the flick of her long hair, a twist of her slender neck, but even at that moment, I knew I was mad. The adrenaline rush would not die down….I sat there for hours just to be with her.
I go there everyday. Just because she is there everyday as well. I know I can never be with her, she can never be mine…seeing her has become my habit. I need to see her everyday, drown in her eyes and bask in her beauty in order to live.
But yesterday, when I went…as usual…she was not there. The place felt empty without her and at first the fact did not register in my mind. When it did, I panicked. I ran around the whole place asking for her. Then I found out. They had sold her. I could not do anything, could not walk, could not cry…somehow I could not feel a thing. She took away all my feelings with her. I went back to where she used to be. The wall was blank, gaping scornfully at me. They had sold her…she must have found another lover. She was not a painting, she was a story that I had fallen in love with. I wanted to kill the people who had put a price on her… but she had gone…trapped in her frame…telling her story forever.

2006-04-05T16:50:00.000+05:30

all hail NILAYAN DEY and ABIRA NATH!!!!! for all the bandas n bandis who r regular chatters....if uv missed an online dule betwn neel n abby......U MISSED SUMTHIN!!!!!!!!!!! man these ppl can fite...im just thankful they dint have swords in their hands!!!! hmmm...lets see....they called each otr loaaads of names...."ur sooo ugly","ur bird brained","ur a stupid dumbo","ur an overactor"...the list goes on n on n on for hours on end!!!! at first i (as usual) i tried to soothen the ruffled up feathers.....but it got sooo hilarious!! i wished i had sum popcorn...would hav sat down to watch the show!!!! cudnt stop laughin my ass off....i cud imagine the two wit their noses glued to the moniter...typin ridiculously fast....hahaha. u ppl....hats off!!! wat can i say??? future politicians????
but for the ppl who dont kno......I THINK neel has a secret crush on abira!!!!!!!! lol...neel dont kill me plzzzz.just kiddin!!!!
n yeah....if NYONE has a cd of Oasis...plzzz lend it to me!!!!! n darshana...im still waitin for gorillaz!!! arrrggg!!!!
n yeah.....SOMEONE very recently said.....DEEPAN IS HOT!!!(not me)......and to dat person i wud like to say....air conditioned classrooms n cool deepan n u off!!!!
for now...ganguly is in the air...(this is a secret code language)...
before i forget!!!! if ur ever feelin low....pick up the phone n talk to sumone in the middle of the nite!!!! it helps!!!! n neel.....tel ur bro that hes really kool for not tellin.....u kno wat!!!!

2006-03-19T18:06:00.000+05:30

The two men finally picked out a girl from the dozen or so they were shown. She cost them 42 rupees. One of them spent the night with her. In the morning, he asked her, “What is your name?” when she replied, he was taken aback. “Those bas***ds cheated us! Selling us a girl who is one of us! I want my money refunded!”
The girl looked at him with cold eyes. “Is it possible?” she asked.
The man replied, “Oh shit……I paid by credit card!!”

They dragged him out of his house, threw him to the ground and started beating him up. But he got up with great dignity, brushed the dirt off his clothes and wagging a finger at the rioters said, “You can kill me!!! But dare you touch my…..money!!”

He looked up to the man with the gun with pleading eyes and said, “Please don’t kill my daughter in front of me! Please don’t!”
The man looked down with fiery eyes and said, “All right, all right….peel off her clothes and throw her in with the other daughters.”

[The above excerpts have been taken from a famous Urdu author named Banto. They were a part of a play called ‘Trikon’ which we have performed several times….always winning the first prize. The play was directed by Mr.Parnab Mukherjee.]

2006-03-19T11:11:00.000+05:30

SPOTLIGHT

Shes standing behind the curtains red
her last prayer she has solemnly said
like a ghost She floats up in the light
a sea that dark gives her a fright....

Shes standin there,in silence bound
the people stare-a hungry hound
the clock ticks,her time has begun
the people wait..they want the fun

her words are lost,throat is dry
Shes trying hard not to cry
they whisper first and then they shriek
a silent tear rolls down her cheek

spotlight is on and people stare
with faces raw and savage and bare
the alarm buzzes,she runs behind
her lost words She could not find

She has lost her one last chance
lost in her silent trance........
spotlight is on,but not on her
a nobody is all She'll ever be.

2006-03-18T13:05:00.000+05:30

Well folks….. for all those who think that I lied wen I said dat my exams sucked big time…..i wud just Like to say that I cant help if Lady Luck is on my side. For manshi, khushboo, archana, and especially mayukh (who calls me a hypocrite now)…n for anindya too….i wud like to say that there is no need to explode….every day is NOT Sunday n im gona run outa luck pretty soon. So I think its high time all of us buckle our seat belts and get down to serious work. This is the last year v hav in skul(hopefully) and this is wen v hav to decide wat to do for the rest of our lives…..so its time to stop fightin bout whether sanya mirza is hotter or maria sharapova or whether this girl is a bitch or dat one. Im serious……one year of hard work can get us places. So with the spirit of Rang De Basanti in our hearts and wit a will to excel in our mind, v shud get down to business n show the world dat us teenagers can shake the world……
things I hav been hearin lately….
1.Im ok….nuthin is wrong with me.
2.NOOOOOOO (ask deepan to sing it for u)
3.hey miss pretty……
4. u liar!!!! U never fail with us!!!!
5.clean ur room!!! ( no way mom!!!)
6.TREAT!!!!
7.wana play cricket????
8.shruti beta khana kha lo!!!

2006-03-12T16:20:00.000+05:30

hey ppl....im back.the only reason as to why i havnt been writin is coz i didnt feel like. actually,iv not been myself lately.....
you know...there r two types of ppl in this world.....those who hav got fire in their eyes,n those who do not. the ppl wit fire in them,know that they r gonna make it,no matter wat....they know that they're gonna reach where the wana go.these ppl know it for sure...
then there r the second kinda ppl.....who r ready to accept watever life throws to them.its like,they dont hav "the spoon" in their hands...u know...they cant grab wat they want....if it comes to them,its ok...and if it doesnt,its still ok.
why am i writin all this??? coz i lost track of who i was....forgot that Shruti Bhatia has got wat it takes."successful ppl dont do different things...they do the same things differently".
i want to thank a dear friend of mine who reminded me who i was.....that person knows who he/she is.as for now,im back on track....
here is a quick news flash....
1.chompa has vowched to be there in class 12 wit the gang
2.nilayan has finally shaved!!!
3.mr.genius arijit is under trmendous chaap for the exams.
4.rohan has declared that abira nath is fatter than namrata chaturvedi
5.deepan is going to fail in chemistry
6.arindam ghosh is cute(hehe)
as always....NEVER SAY DIE!!!!!

2006-02-09T10:58:00.000+05:30

www.neelshome.blogspot.com

2006-02-09T10:53:00.000+05:30

SHRUTZ SPEAKS

2006-02-09T10:49:00.000+05:30

SHRUTZ SPEAKS

2006-01-31T22:23:00.000+05:30

Phew!!! man am i pooped!!! too much to study and very little time!!!! its the same story every year though....befor exams i WISH i had studied,i WISH i had not wasted time,i WISH time would stop.....God do sumthing!!! i wont be able to complete the syllabus even if i start studyin now and go on till im 80!!!
i think im gona flunk....plain and simple.now i understand wat REAL chaap is!!! snif!! snif!!! wail!!! weep!!!!

2006-01-04T14:57:00.000+05:30

Lights go out and I can't be saved,
Tides that I tried to swim against,
You've put me down upon my knees,
Oh I beg,I beg and plead(singing)
Come out of things unsaid,shoot an apple of
my head(and a)
Trouble that can't be named,Tigers waiting
to be tamed(singing)
You are,you are

Confusion never stops,closing walls and
ticking clocks(gonna)
Come back and take you home,I could not
stop,that you now know(singing)
Come out upon my seas,curse missed
opportunities(am I)
A part of the cure,or am i part of the
disease(singing)

You are
And nothing else compares,
Oh no nothing else compares,
And nothing else compares.

You are
Home,home,where I wanted to go

2006-01-04T14:37:00.000+05:30

PHEW!!! man,things can get sooo hectic!!! life is FINALLY back on track.....it has resumed its usual break-neck speed-just the way i like it. for a second there i thought that 2006 was gonna be kinda sleepy....i was SO wrong.things sre happenin so fast,that im hardly gettin time to breathe.being the hot tempered gal that i am,im really thankful to hav Deepan by my side.this guy NEVER takes chaap,and always handles pressure with calm and dignity(except for a few and rare cases!!!) THANK YOU SO MUCH Deepan!!!
im sittin at home rite now coz i dint go to skul.im kinda not well....but i regert not goin to skul now.....skul wud hav been so much fun!! anyway,id better go study now(drumroll!!!!)

2006-01-02T17:33:00.000+05:30

hello all!!! this post is dedicated entirely to my friend Abira( KABIRA,KAMEENA,AMOEBA,IDIOT,TWITCHER - call her watever u want).let me tell u abt her.abira is this girl in my class and i havnt really known her for that long.the time we really became good friends was during Patang. abira is world famous for her hyper active nature( which by the way u hav to be beware of!!!).she thinks dat she is really ugly just coz she's dark and everything,but abira,let me tell u right here right now....that's all crap!! listen, i know u feel really low bout urself at times and u feel that ur not good enough or that ppl dont like like u but trust me....just be urself and ppl will adore u.u dont HAVE to be funny or smart to win ppl over...thats wen u scare them away.the abira i know is super cool and thats how u shud always be.im not a fan of avril lavigne myself,but u shud listen to the song "complicated" by her.its like meant for u!!!!
another thing.....it seems,im not the only one being associated with Don Bosco!!!! my dear and poor friend abira(God bless her soul!) has recently found out stuff thats makin her go BONKERS!!! let me tell u abt that.on new years eve,abira and a few of my other friends were playin truth or dare.now abira got a dare to tell a guy called Shounak(from DB) that she has a crush on him.....and being a true arien like me,abira went for it!!! Shounak obviously got very freaked,so abira told him that it was just a dare. but as luck wud hav it....news spread and ppl came up with the story that abira had proposed to Shounak and that becoz Shounak refused,abira told him that it was a dare!!! giv the girl a break guys!!! she has better things to do than to propose to ppl she does NOT hav feelings for on new year's!!!
anyway,abira....take a chill pill!!!! things will work out just fine!!!

2006-01-01T17:22:00.000+05:30

WHY?? WHY?? WHY?? WHY IS SCHOOL REOPENING TOMORROW? Im still tryin to recover from last year....im drunk on too many memories.new year party was OK... not as great as usual.maybe it WAS good, but for me the comin of the new year meant only one thing...SACRIFICE. sacrifice my fests,my captainship,my music,my theatre,my fashion shows,my television,my cell,my parties,my computer.....and work towards just one thing.the one thing that is in a way goin to decide the rest of my life-my boards.this is no joke.we as teenagers have to face so much that ppl can hardly imagine.the drama in our lives is usually exaggerated but never untrue.our souls r like labyrinths of dark and musty little tunnels....ul get lost in the maze.sometimes v ourselves get lost,but v hav to find our way out......v hav no choice.the BIG,BAD world out there is waitin for us......but v r fighters and v survive no matter wat.2006-BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my motto for the year 2006-"NEVER SAY DIE!!"

2005-12-31T11:25:00.000+05:30

Well folks,its that time of the year again.........the last day of the year.the time has come again to go down memory lane.....wat has 2005 given me??? in many ways,this year has been the best year of my life(although my board results did nothing to add to my joy).school has never been more fun....i think i've been to each and every fest this year and my trophy collection stands as a glistenin proof of that.but that hasnt been the REAL achievment.....wat i hav learnt is that i DO stand somewhere and that i DO hav wat it takes for my dreams to come true......i was born to be successful and im goin to get there.
another life changing thing that happened to me this year was that i became House Captain.yeah,i've cried,i've scolded,i've pulled my hair out,i've stayed up all night.....but everyday in the mornin when i wear my school uniform and pin the shining, red badge to my shirt,i say to myself.....its worth it.another mountain to climb this year was PATANG2005......but i've said so much about it already,that i don't thing anything is left.i've done my job well,and my "patang" is up there,kissing the sky.
i think i've made more friends this year than ever before....whether it be at Patang or in school and i guess these r ppl who will remain friends for life.AND who can forget that i also met my boyfriend(u know who he is)! here i wud like to take the opportunity to thank everyone for always"being there for me"......(this is not a speech,im serious).i'd also like to add.....I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL(thanx neel).

2005-12-30T15:20:00.000+05:30

HEY ALL!!!!!!!!
A BELATED MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A VERY HAPPPPPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!

2005-12-30T11:00:00.000+05:30

HERE R SOME COOL PICS GIVN TO ME BY A FRIEND.....THANX JOEY!!!!!!!!

2005-12-30T10:26:00.000+05:30

i cant believe this is happenin to me........SHRUTI BHATIA feelin bored!!!!!!!!!!! im in my room,i hav a guitar,a mouth organ,a synth,my comp,a cd player,gazzilions of cds,my cell....yet nothin is appealin to me!!i might as well sit and stare at the wall to pass my time! i think i fall in the category of a typical human....i complain no matter wat i hav.when ppl bitch about me i wish i'd just go unnoticed and that ppl wud stop talkin about me.when everything around is peaceful and quiet,i want things to liven up....i want a plate full of adventure!!! i guess havin psychology as a subjest IS helpin me understand myself more!!!!!!!!
yesterday i went to city centre with someone(no names being mentioned!!)and i had a gala time.but im kinda gettin sick and tired of city centre too....i mean i live next to it and every day i see enthusiastic couples flockin to city centre,wide eyed,too pass the time......while i see them and stick my finger down my throat.ITS BORING,ITS SILLY AND ITS DRIVIN ME NUTS!!!!!!!!!
God help me....any one,help me!!!!!!!!! Oh,neel if ur readin this,THANK YOU soo much for sendin me the invitation to that Hi5 thing.....God knows i need something to kill the time!!!!

2005-12-29T11:22:00.000+05:30

well,im back!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND im back after a LOOOOONG TIME!!!!!!!! For all the MBG ppl who missed me.....trust me i've had my reasons for not writin!!!!!!! u know,this blog thing spreads amazingly fast....i think every dude in don bosco has a blog of his own!!! these past few days hav been one heck of a roller coater ride.....and y wudnt they be?? im readin stuff about me on the net thats totally freakin me out!!!(thank you once again don bosco).now im not the kinda gal who gets scared easily,but one can NEVER under estimate DON BOSCO.these guys completely live up to their name-they r true dons!!!! man,the things they write and the things they do!!! if i was not the one being talked about in their blogs,then i would hav sat down to read their blogs with a huge bowl of popcorn!!!!!!!! seriously.....amazing time pass....epitome of wit,sarcasm,dark humour and politics.i have a lot to learn from u guys!!!!!! after i got over the SHOCK of readin about me on their blogs,i realized that wat v hav on the blogs were master pieces!!! way to go u guys!!!!!!!!!
now,for those of u who want me to spill the beans about the REAL stuff.....the hindi film that took place on 17th of december in TTIS.....it aint happenin!!!!! sorry to dissappoint u ppl,but our story aint a bestseller that ppl cant stop talkin about.u know wat happened and thats that.....i aint gonna supply spicy details to juice up the story....coz watever happened,happened in front of everyone. and if SOME ppl feel the need to fill up their lacks in life by talkin just abt deepan and me,then the might as well GO TO HELL!!!!! U KNOW WHO IM REFERIN TO!!!!!!!!! and for those pea-brains u who still cant figure our whether im goin around with nilayan or deepan.......GET A CLUE!!!!!!!!AND GET A LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-12-29T10:59:00.000+05:30

things i've been hearing a LOT lately-
"PLZ dont take chaap."
"dont worry,im there for you."
"merry christmas and happy new year!!!!!"
"so, how r things wit u and deepan???"
"is there something between u and nilayan???"

2005-12-06T19:46:00.000+05:30

I had never ever imagined that there shall be a time when i've actually grown up.I wont say that I have,but I think Im very near to it.I've heard that a drama without conflict is no drama at all.i think the same thing goes for life too.i mean,wat was i thinking??????!!!!!!!!
There I was trying(really hard)for that perfect life where everything is smooth and right where you want it to be.The alarm buzzed of loudly in my ear.life cant possibly be "perfect",AND IT SHOULD'NT BE.
DB guys-nilayan,deepan,champa(i prefer aviroop though),mayukh,shounak,rajdeep,prithvijeet, sayantan and especialy you arindam, if you guys are reading this then i have just two little words for you. THANK YOU!!!!!! life is a ball and you guys taught me that.
Patang has been by far the best(in a few cases the worst) thing that has ever happened to me.Patang,by the way, is a street theatre festival that i helped organize.Between attending wierd workshops(in which I "accidentaly' get touched by a guy-taking no names!),running around for money,getting REALLY expensive food for the workshop conductors,getting jacked at home,listening to people bitch and put me through shit, I did something that changed my life.literally.
I made friends.Not that I've never made friends,but this was different. Putting this in words is very difficult for me or even impossible,so i wont even try coz i know i'll fail miserably.The people who were there know what i mean(db guys,especially you)
You people must be wondering what a smart and talented girl who's got things going well for herself(AHEM!!!!!!!!!!!!) is doing by rambling on about db guys.
You see,when I first met them,I thought to myself, 'oh well,another gang of changras."(many people would agree) They surprised me.They have taught me more than they can imagine.
here are some of the VISIBLE things they taught me-
1. the bosco lingo-thank you champa
2.don't ever take chaap!!!!!!-our wise guy nilayan
3.i dont know.don't care about what others say about you- merci deepan
4.being a genius does have its side effects-go arindam
5.looks can be deceptive-Mr. subid chakravorty
etc.etc.etc.......
life is conflict, and i love it that way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cheers to DON BOSCO.This goes out to you.........................